Nothing less. Nothing more. Nothing else.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

Wow. Does anyone else out there have times in their life when you know, by obvious hints, that God wants you to get something? There is so much that is coming full circle for me. It's so wonderful, but I still have yet to know what He is doing with it. In my last post I mentioned William Wilberforce. Well, since that post, there have been 3 more encounters with him, and in very random, every day places. I think we brush off a lot of things as coincidence, but this seems different. I'm fairly positive that He's trying to get my attention. He's been reinforcing certain truths through other people, bringing things to remembrance, stirring my heart in violent ways.

I just finished this recent book, The Vow. Have I already recommended it to you? Because I'm saying it again. It's a scary thing to get excited about, this whole vowing practice. The beginning quote represents it well. I was thrilled to discover something familiar. Ed, the author, mentions Richard Foster several times. Mr. Foster wrote a book that really propelled me further in my love for God-- it's called Celebration of Discipline. It doesn't sound very fun, but that's kind of the point. And that's a major point of The Vow, too. Becoming everything God wants you to be won't always be fun. It definitely isn't easy. We all screw it up every now and then. But it's our purpose. It's why we are here.

Personally, as I have told you before, I'm at a crossroads type place right now. It seems like doors are flinging open left and right, but I have yet to know which one to take. Or, for that matter, whether I should move at all. For those of you who know me well, I'm not one to sit still and wait. I can be a patient person in certain circumstances, but when it comes to "my" life, I don't like having to wait on instructions so much. For a season, ok, I can handle that. But it's been a while. Maybe not on God's wristwatch, but on mine, Oh goodness! Why am I still here? Totally not the right question to ask. It's just how I feel most of the time. And I know because that question (more like a whine) still rises up in me, it means that I'm not ready to move on. Ooh, that one hurt to write.

I've come to realize that if I want more I must do more, not just for the fact of doing something, but because we really can DO certain things to position ourselves closer to God. These things are mostly referred to disciplines. One of these disciplines being, taking a vow. As I've said before, this is a very serious matter. Ed explains it very well. It is better not to make a promise if you cannot keep your promise. What really struck me was when he said that we are fooled by intention. We so often think that if we intended to do something good, it counts for something, when in reality it's our action that changes the world and nothing less. Ed dedicated a whole chapter to showing how our wills have been corrupted, and honestly, we can't will to do anything godly. But that's the whole point of making Jesus our Lord-- He redeemed our wills for us by living a spotless life and dying our sinful death. We are able to take on His will and let Him lead us in a surrendered life. Unfortunately, our wills never go away. We must daily crucify them, which goes back to the fact that this isn't always fun. It's when we get a taste of who He really is, and when we get a glimpse of who we were created to be, that helps us push past what our self wants to do and keep running after everything He has for us.

I love this: "Vowing imitates the ancient warriors who burned their ships when they landed on the shores of lands they were to conquer. This act eliminated even the temptation to turn back from what they had determined to do."

What a vivid picture. I can remember reading the verse in Hebrews that says, "For our God is an all-consuming fire," and wondering what that meant. I think Kim Walker just sang a great example: Here is my heart, You can have it all. If you invite Him in, be prepared to let Him set fire to everything you've ever known. I think this is meant to put a little bit of healthy fear into us. God is not a commodity. He is God. He is holy. How often I am ashamed because I assume that He is here to make my life better. I'm so thankful that His grace is greater. His love isn't based on the actions of those He loves.

Ed also wrote that Jesus had followers on various levels-- He had the massive crowds, He had his group of disciples, and He had his three. I agree with him; we are the ones who choose how close to Jesus we want to be. Do we want to just hear His teachings and casually go on with our lives? Or maybe we want to go a bit further and follow Him around here and there, helping Him serve others and actually listening and taking to heart what He says. My desire is to be like Peter, James, and John who were somehow the closest ones to Jesus. It cost them a lot. But look at their gain! It was not money or power or fame; it was persecution, poverty, and a deep, intimate friendship with the Savior of the world. And they shaped history.

"Causal Christ-followers get to heaven, no doubt about it, but they don't get to change the world. Changing the world demands that people live differently."

"I think the Christian is supposed to long for a better world-- one that God imagines. And we start by living better ourselves."

I'm going to have to start making a lot of changes in my life. I want to be used of God. I know (by personal experience) that He can use us no matter what, but I want to be intentional about my love for God. I don't just want to consume His grace, I want to live graciously. I want to be a vessel of the virtues that He is willing to funnel through me. I must pour contempt on all my pride. I must choose to follow through. I will not be satisfied with anything ordinary. My desire is He & He alone.

All-consuming fire, You're my heart's desire.

Living flame of love, come baptize me.

Let me fall more in love with You.

Don't relent until You have it all.

Yes, You can have it all...