... and I run down the aisle.

Once again (I might as well get used to this!) I was so broken by the words of Max Lucado. This is from his book, In the Eye of the Storm. I'm adding it to my list, for sure:

The Choice--

He placed one scoop of clay upon another until a form lay lifeless on the ground. All of the Garden's inhabitants paused to witness the event. Hawks hovered. Giraffes stretched. Trees bowed. Butterflies paused on petals and watched. "You will love Me, nature," God said. "I made you that way. You will obey Me, universe. For you were designed to do so. You will reflect My glory, skies. For that is how you were created. But this one will be like Me. This one will be able to choose."

All were silent as the Creator reached into Himself and removed something yet unseen. A seed. "It's called choice. The seed of choice." Creation stood in silence and gazed upon the lifeless form. An angel spoke, "But what if he..."

"What if he chooses not to love?" The Creator finished. "Come, I will show you." Unbound by today, God and the angel walked into the realm of tomorrow. "There, see the fruit of the seed of choice, both the sweet and the bitter." The angel gasped at what he saw. Spontaneous love. Voluntary devotion. Chosen tenderness. Never had he seen anything like these! He felt the love of the Adams. He heard the joy of Eve and her daughters. He saw the food and the burdens shared. He absorbed the kindness and marveled at the warmth.

"Heaven has never seen such beauty, my Lord. Truly, this is Your greatest creation."

"Ah, but you've only seen the sweet. Now witness the bitter." A stench enveloped the pair. The angel turned in horror and proclaimed, "What is it?!"

The Creator only spoke one word: "Selfishness." The angel stood speechless as they passed through centuries of repugnance. Never had he seen such filth. Rotten hearts. Ruptured promises. Forgotten loyalties. Children of the creation wandering blindly in lonely labyrinths.

"This is the result of choice?" the angel asked.

"Yes."

"They will forget You?"

"Yes."

"They will reject You?"

"Yes."

"They will never come back?"

"Some will. Most won't."

"What will it take to make them listen?"

The Creator walked on in time, further and further into the future until He stood by a tree. A tree that would be fashioned into a cradle. Even then He could smell the hay that would surround Him. With another step into the future, He paused before another tree. It stood alone, a stubborn ruler of a bald hill. The trunk was thick, and the wood was strong. Soon it would be cut. Soon it would be trimmed. Soon it would be mounted on the stony brow of another hill. And soon He would be hung on it. He felt the wood rub against a back He did not yet wear.

"Will you go down there?" the angel asked.

"I will."

"Is there no other way?"

"There is not."

"Wouldn't it be easier to not plant the seed? Wouldn't it be easier to not give the choice?"

"It would," the Creator spoke slowly. "But to remove the choice is to remove the love."

He looked around the hill and foresaw a scene. Three figures hung on three crosses. Arms spread. Heads fallen forward. They moaned with the wind. Men clad in soldier's garb sat on the ground near the trio. They played games in the dirt and laughed. Men clad in religion stood off to one side. They smiled. Arrogant, cocky. They had protected God, they thought, by killing this false One. Women clad in sorrow huddles at the foot of the hill. Speechless. Faces tear streaked. Eyes downward. One put her arm around another and tried to lead her away. She wouldn't leave. "I will stay," she said. "I will stay."

All heaven stood to fight. All nature rose to rescue. All eternity poised to protect. But the Creator gave no command. "It must be done..." He said, and withdrew. But as He stepped back in time, He heard the cry that He would someday scream: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" He wrenched at tomorrow's agony.

The angel spoke again, "It would be less painful..."

The Creator interrupted softly, "But it would not be love."

They stepped back into eternity again. The Maker looked earnestly at the clay creation. A monsoon of love swelled up within Him. He had died for the creation before He had made him. God's form bend over the sculptured face and breathed. Dust stirred on the lips of the new one. The chest rose, cracking the red mud. The cheeks freshened. A finger moved. An eye opened. But more incredible than the moving of the flesh was the stirring of the spirit. Those who could see the unseen gasped! Perhaps it was the wind who said it first. Perhaps what the star saw at that moment was what has made it blink ever since. Maybe it was left to an angel to whisper:

"It looks like... it appears so much like... it is HIM!"

The angel wasn't speaking of the face, the features, or the body. He was looking inside, at the soul. "It's eternal!" gasped another. Within the man, God had planted a divine seed. A seed of His self. The God of might had created earth's mightiest. The Creator had created, not a creature, but another creator. And the One who had chosen to love had created the one who could love in return.

Now it's our choice.

Beautiful, isn't it? The heart of our Maker. I grieve at the loss of perfection in this world. To read a depiction like that, and then step outside into life, is a stark contrast. And it hurts. And He hurts. Something deep within my heart cries out for a solution. Make it better, Lord. Take it away, God. Heal them, Jesus. Speak to them Holy Spirit. And I forget that most of what I'm praying for is exactly what He has made me to do. I am to be His hands, His eyes, His voice. I should stop mid-prayer and go find someone to love! What are we thinking?! Sometimes I wish I wasn't given that choice, because then it would be my nature to be like God. But then there wouldn't be a need for love in this world. Though trials and tribulations bring pain, they also bring great opportunity. I want to jump at any chance to tell someone what He has done for me. At the same time, I find so much doubt inside myself. What will they say? What will I say? How will they respond? Will my forwardness and boldness just increase their so-called hate for Him? Will I be an incorrect example of my Jesus? ... I really don't like those thoughts. Paul is so right when he says there is always a battle waging war inside of us: our flesh against our Spirit. I want to turn that around to my Spirit, or His Spirit within me, waging against my flesh. For we walk by faith and not by sight. I keep seeing this quote on a friend's facebook page, "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

I so desire to look past my own insecurities and selfishness and step into a full life of love and servanthood, but actually walking that out day to day seems so mundane and fruitless. A part of me knows it isn't. A part of me knows that a simple thank you, or smile, or hug, or word of encouragement can truly mean volumes to someone. It's kind of aggravating that I can't see that impact, but I know I'm not supposed to. Then I would have wrong motives. Then I would get prideful.

I am rambling, aren't I? I've just been so sensitive to Him lately. Like everything makes me start crying. Reading about Mother Teresa and learning about all these injustices and how screwed up the world is and we are... it's exhausting. A song comes to mind about how desperate we are, or should be, for Him. It's called Wedding Dress by Derek Webb. He says, "I am a whore, I do confess, I put You on just like a wedding dress and I run down the aisle. I'm a prodigal with no way home, I put You on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle, to You." It's brutally honest. I started another book today called Starving Jesus. The first few pages are just that-- brutally honest. And they make the point that honesty is so lacking in us, the Church. It's not one I will necessarily "enjoy" reading, but it'll be good.

I must continually remind myself of this truth: He is the Potter, continually shaping me into who I'm supposed to be, when I let Him. When I was little, I'd always want my mom to braid my hair. I had this image in my mind of what I wanted it to look like, because it looked so cute on other girls. I would sit there, still, for the painstakingly 10 minutes until it took her to finish. And then you know what I would do? Take it down. I didn't like the way it looked. It was too poofy here, and too tight there. I was so dissatisfied with what my mother had lovingly taken the time to make me into. But I didn't like it. I wanted it to look like so-and-sos hair.

I don't want to be that way with my Father. Maybe that's why He sometimes doesn't let me look in the mirror, not yet, because if I could fully see what He was doing in me, I would freak out & want Him to stop working because it's nothing I've ever seen before. It doesn't match in comparison to other Christians.

It takes a lot to make us like Jesus. And the neat (and scary) thing about it is that it's completely personal. He is completely personal. And He has plans for us beyond our wildest imaginations. If I trust that He loves me, if I can trust in my salvation, then I can trust that His will is the absolute best for my life. And from my love for Him that is birthed out of His love for me, I will choose to follow close behind Him all the days of my life. Forsaking all others, forsaking all things, I'll run to Him and into His dreams for me. I was made to adore Him, and so were you. For before the world began, He knew us. He loved us. And He became flesh of our flesh to see His promises fulfilled: that all people would see Him & enjoy His love for them.

Open our eyes to see the things that make Your heart cry.

To be the Church that You would desire,

a Light to be seen.

Break down our pride and all the walls we've built up inside.

Our earthly crowns & all our desires,

we leave at Your feet.

For You our King, with everything, we will shout forth Your praise.

With everything... with everything...

"Supply for what is wanting in me..."

"This my new vocation has been one prolonged 'Yes' to God, without even a look at the cost. I know for certain He has asked, 'Will you do this for me?'

Everything was His, I had only to surrender myself to His plan, to His will."

Mother Teresa. I am reading a compilation of her letters that she wrote throughout her lifetime in Calcutta. Besides the fact that I can't pronounce all the foreign names, and my Catholic lingo is not up to par, I'm being so challenged by her life-story.

I really loved the fact that she received her salvation at the age of 5 and felt the call to missions at 12. "From childhood, the heart of Jesus has been my First Love." (How important it is to encourage & teach our children in the way they should go!) At 18, she left home and ventured to a far away country to do what she believed God had purposed for her to do.

"Pray for your missionary, that Jesus would help her save as many immortal souls as possible from the darkness of unbelief... I'm leaving my old friends, forsaking family and home. My heart draws me onward to serve my Christ."

Reading about her in her own words is so fascinating. This girl was zealously in-love with her Savior, and she longed for others to be the same. She often referred to herself as "Jesus' little spouse" :) And she decided early on that nothing would sway that devotion, not even suffering.

"Before, crosses used to frighten me. I would get goose bumps at the thought of suffering. But now I embrace suffering even before it comes, and like this, Jesus & I live in love."

What I didn't know about her calling was that though she was serving as a nun in India, it was not the fulfillment of God's purpose for her. He took it a step further and began to call her deeper into the darkest of places, to the lowest of people. She refers to it as a "call within the call" -- to leave something she enjoyed doing and pursue that which would make her fully come alive. It was a long process for her to receive the permission from her spiritual leaders to leave her convent and live among the destitute. Though I believe Jesus does not call everyone to poverty, I can't help but feel that we are missing so much because we have so much.

"Every Sunday I visit the poor in Calcutta slums. I cannot help them because I do not have anything, but I go to give them joy... give me strength to be always the Light of their lives and so lead them to You."

"Our particular mission is to labor at the salvation and sanctification of the poorest of poor, not only in the slums, but also all around the world- wherever they may be"

"It is lovely to be poor & free from so many things."

"By nature I am sensitive, I love beautiful and nice things, comfort and all comfort can give- to be loved and love. I know that the life of a Missionary of Charity will be minus all these."

"He will be with us, and when He is there, we shall need for nothing."

"The world is too rich for the poor. We have to be very, very poor in every sense of the world to gain the hearts of the poor for Christ."

"The less we have of our own, the more we shall have to give. For love founded on sacrifice is sure to grow."

This is part of the call that she often heard: "My little one, come be My light. You come, go amongst them, carry Me with you into them. In your love for Me, they will see Me, want Me, know Me. Even if the whole world rejects you, remember you are My own."

In India and many other countries like it, they have a caste system. If you are born poor, you will always be poor. There is a major gap between those in poverty and the very wealthy. So people who live in these slums, in the shacks and on the waste-filled streets, have always been looked over. In Mother Teresa's heart, she heard the voice of God beckoning her to bring these people to Him. To live with them, care for them, show them something they have never truly felt: His love and acceptance. She could not escape the burden He had entrusted to her-- "I don't know what the success will be, but if the Missionaries of Charity have brought joy to one unhappy home, made one innocent child in the street keep pure for Jesus, one dying person die in peace with God, don't you think it would be worth-while offering everything, for just that one, because that one would bring great joy to the Heart of Jesus."

She didn't want to just give them money so they could get out of poverty. She wanted to give them the Gift that would give them an eternal purpose-- one that nothing, not even extreme poverty, could take away from them.

What has been pressing on my heart is her absolute love and abandon for Him. Just listen to how she refers to Him, prays to Him, professes her all for Him.

"No one, not even those who are enjoying some happiness which in the world seems perfect, could I envy. Because I am enjoying my complete happiness, even when I suffer something for my Beloved Spouse."

"I am laughing more than I am suffering, so that some have concluded that I am Jesus' spoiled bride who lives with Jesus in Nazareth, far away from Calvary."

"He has always been so infinitely good towards me, as if He wanted to insure the possession of my heart for Himself."

"I want to be only all for Jesus- truly and not only by name and dress. I would give everything, even life itself, for Him. It sounds nice, but in reality it is not so easy. And that is just what I want, that it not be easy. Everything is for Jesus, so like that, everything is beautiful even though it is difficult."

-- If she could not remove His pain, then she would be there, on the Cross as it were, with Him. Choosing to share the lot of her Beloved, she welcomed the crosses that accompanied her constant self-giving.

"Ask Jesus not to allow me to refuse Him anything, however small. I would rather die."

--the thought of even a momentary separation from Him by a single offense was for her unbearable.

--She knew that God loved her and she trusted that His will for her would always be an expression of that unfailing love, however difficult or impossible it might be at times to fathom His design. Only this certainty that she was loved unconditionally could give her enough confidence to abandon herself to God so completely and without reserve.

"When I see someone sad, I always think, she is refusing something to Jesus."

--Her joy was not just a matter of temperament; it was rather the fruit of the blessedness of submission that she lived. It was in giving Jesus whatever He asked that she found her deepest and lasting joy; in giving Him joy she found her own joy.

"Cheerfulness is often a cloak which hides a life of sacrifice, continual union with God, fervor, and generosity."

"I long to be really only His, to burn myself completely for Him and souls. I want Him to be loved tenderly by many. Count not my feelings, count not the cost I will have to pay. I am ready, for I have already given my all to Him."

"Jesus, my own Jesus, I am only Thine. Do with me whatever You wish, as You wish, as long as You wish. I love You not for what You give, but what You take."

"You must pray for me, to learn how to get rid of self in myself and live intimately with Him. Pray for light that I may see and for courage to do away with anything of self in the work. I must disappear completely if I want God to have the whole."

"To the one less advanced on the road of love, this total surrender and completely conformity to God's will might seem a complete loss of freedom.

But the one who truly loves seeks to realize the desire of the Beloved, to fulfill His expectations even to the last detail.

Thus, for Mother Teresa, the vow was the means for strengthening the bond with the One she loved & so experiencing the true freedom only love can give."

I know some of you may admire her and think, "Wow, I'm so thankful for people like that. We need more people like her in our world." This is precisely what came to my mind. And what followed was a verse that we all would rather ignore- "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself (disregard, lose sight of, forget himself & his own interests), take up his cross and follow Me (cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living, and if need be, dying also). Matthew 16:24

I know, I know... a lot of people quote that. But please don't get comfortable with it. The Lord wills that all of us be His abandoned disciples- to devote and consecrate every aspect of our lives to Him and His kingdom coming. How can I constantly respond to Him with a "yes"? I so desire to have the same deep, passionate convictions that she had... to never part from Him; to express my love to Him by constantly giving myself for His children; to take the greatest pleasure in knowing that He is pleased with me; to follow His call on my life, not without considering the cost, but without caring about the cost because nothing is as precious, beautiful, and worthy as He.

Jesus, finish what You started in me. You have my love & my life, always forever.

XOXO

His beautiful eyes.

In the Grip of Grace = finished! I find myself still more captivated, awed, and in-love with our great God and what His grace and His Son have really accomplished for us. I want to dedicate this entry to the genius and talent of God via Max Lucado. It will possibly be very long. It would really be nice to type the entire book on here! But would you really read it? I do want you to!

• God doesn't get angry because He doesn't get His way. He gets angry because disobedience always results in self-destruction.
• The question is not, How dare a loving God be angry? but rather, How can a loving God feel anything less?
• The problem is not that God hasn't spoken, but that we haven't listened.
• Sacrificed upon the altar of godlessness is the purpose of man.
• We are significant not because of what we do, but because of Whose we are.
• God is kind, but He is not soft. In kindness He takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life change. (Rom. 2:4)
• We are unworthy and unqualified to judge others. Dare we judge a book while its chapters are yet unwritten? How can you dismiss a soul until God's work is complete? Be careful! The Peter who denies Jesus at tonight's fire may proclaim Him with fire at tomorrow's Pentecost. The Samson who is blind and weak today may use his final strength to level the pillars of godlessness. A stammering shepherd in this generation may be the mighty Moses of the next.
• Holiness demands that sin be punished. Mercy compels that the sinner be loved. Mercy understood is holiness desired.
• Ponder the achievement of God. He doesn't condone our sin; nor does He compromise His standard. He doesn't ignore our rebellion; nor does He relax His demands. Rather than dismiss our sin He assumes our sin and sentences Himself. God's holiness is honored, our sin is punished, and we are redeemed. God is still God. The wages of sin is death. And we are made perfect.
• Grace fosters an eagerness for good. Grace doesn't spawn a desire to sin. If one has truly embraced God's gift, he will not mock it. In fact, if a person uses God's mercy as liberty to sin, one might wonder whether the person ever knew God's mercy at all.
• God doesn't want us to sin. He didn't give us His grace so we would sin. But He knows His children. He made their hearts and knows everything they do (Ps. 33:15). And He knew that we would someday need His grace... God's grace is older than your sin and greater than your sin.
• One word from the Palace offsets a thousand voices in the streets.
• Formerly, God had sent His prophets to preach; now He has sent His Son to die. Earlier, God commissioned angels to aid; now He has offered His Son to redeem. When we tremble, He points us to the splattered blood on the splintered beams and says, "Don't be afraid."
• Not only has a price been paid, a vow has been made... baptism is a vow, a sacred vow of the believer to follow Christ. Just as a wedding celebrates the fusion of two hearts, baptism celebrates the union of sinner with Savior. We became part of Christ when we were baptized.
• Confession does for the soul what preparing the land does for the field. It is the act of inviting God to walk the acreage of our hearts. God's seed grows better if the soil of the heart is cleared. And so the Father & Son walk the field together, digging and pulling, preparing the heart for fruit.
• Content: a state of the heart in which you would be at peace if God gave you nothing more than He already has. What if God's only gift to you was His grace to save you? Would you be content? ... from Heaven's perspective, grace IS enough.
• He doesn't give laws for our pleasure, but for our protection. Had I never seen the law, I would have never seen how selfish I am.
• There should never be a point when our grace is exhausted. You will never be called upon to give anyone more grace than God has already given you.
• God loves me and makes me His child. God loves my neighbor and makes him my brother. My privilege is to complete the triangle, to close the circuit by loving who God loves.
• Our faith was born at the sight of His fondness. And so we went.
• Unity does not need to be created; it simply needs to be protected. Unity doesn't begin in examining others, but in examining self. Unity beings, not in demanding that others change, but in admitting that we aren't so perfect ourselves.
• The answer to arguments? Acceptance. The first step to unity? Acceptance. Not agreement, acceptance.
• Will you pray with me for the day when the world is won because the Church is one?
• Vagabonds and ragamuffins all, He saw us before we were born. And He loves what He sees. Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, "You are my child. I love you dearly. I'm aware that someday you'll turn from Me and walk away. But I want you to know, I've already provided you a Way back." And to prove it, He did something extraordinary. Stepping from the throne, He removed His robe of light and wrapped Himself in skin; pigmented, human skin. The light of the universe entered a dark, wet womb. He who angels worship nestled Himself in the placenta of a peasant, was birthed into the cold night, and then slept on cow's hay. Mary didn't know whether to give Him milk or give Him praise, but she gave Him both since he was, as near as she could figure, hungry and holy. Joseph didn't know whether to call Him junior or father. But in the end called Him Jesus, since thats what the angel said, and since he didn't have the faintest idea what to name a God he could cradle in his arms... "Can anything make me stop loving you?" God asks. "Watch Me speak your language, sleep on your earth, and feel your hurts. Behold the Maker of sight and sound as He sneezes, coughs, and blows His nose. Look into the dancing eyes of the kid in Nazareth; that's God walking into school. Ponder the toddler at Mary's table; that's God spilling His milk. You wonder how long My love will last? Find you answer on a splintered Cross. That's Me you see up there, your Maker, your God, nail-stabbed and bleeding. Covered in spit and sin-soaked. That's your sin I'm feeling. That's your death I'm dying. That's your resurrection I'm living. That's how much I love you."

I'm literally left speechless when I read that. There are no words to truly describe His love. There is no formula or recipe or explanation for us to follow to earn and keep that love. He just loves us anyway. Does that make you uncomfortable? Because it kind of makes me feel that way!! There is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do to control or manipulate that love. I can't stop it. I can't avoid it. I can't get past it. What a wonder, this Person... it's almost scary to think about Him, to really think about Him, because He is so much more than me. But that shouldn't scare me, that should be my comfort and security. The fact that I cannot ever escape Him or abandon Him, because He is in everything and through Him all things have life, reiterates the Truth that He can never leave or abandon me. We are together in this world, and even outside of this world. This causes me to cry. I'm not even sure why it does. Maybe because it's a joy unspeakable? Or because I feel undeserving? Whatever the true reason, I think He accepts it as worship. Like the girl who fell at His feet and gave Him what she could-- wet, snot-covered, feet, perhaps a little less dirty than before. But He saw that as unabashed, unashamed, abandoned love and gratitude. That is often the only thing I can bring to Him... my gratitude, a snotty, tear-stained face, and a heart with such deep longing to please Him and serve Him.

I'm learning and experiencing this new servant-hood, which I believe is exactly what Jesus meant when He said to be the greatest you must be the least. It's a giving of yourself for people who will show no regard or thankfulness for you. It's having a loving and encouraging spirit when those you love and encourage will walk away and reject you. It's a desire not to gain success, but to be useful in His hands. It's not so much about how many people you have led to Christ by a prayer, but how many have seen your life, seen His grace in action, and tangibly felt the presence of God that's within you. It's our love that will make a difference. Not our arguments or our being right. But our love and acceptance of all people. Yes, that means people who don't speak english, or smell good, or look nice. People who aren't members of our church, or even the same religion.

Please know that I'm writing this for myself. I do not have this all down. Not even close! It's way out of my comfort zone to approach a homeless person, a prostitute, a stranger. But I do it because Jesus wants me to. Because Jesus is with them, too. Because I was not saved for myself. I was given a free gift, and I want to freely give. I'm working towards that contentment by letting Him continually and openly work in me. I want to see my salvation as more than enough. I want to sing those lyrics, "We don't want blessings, we want You," with conviction and honesty. His grace is more than enough for me... and you.

Now I want you to listen to Misty Edwards' song, "Arms Wide Open." I'll leave you with a snippet of her words:

"What does love look like?" is the question I've been pondering.

What does love look like?

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance.

I even thought that love was for the lucky & the beautiful.

I was once believed that love was a momentary bliss,

but love is more than this.

All You ever wanted was my attention. All You ever wanted was love from me.

All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet.

If all of life comes down to love then love has to be more than sentiment.

More than selfishness and selfish gain.

Then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me.

He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me.

I could not escape those beautiful eyes.

And I began to weep & weep...

He had arms wide open, a heart exposed.

He was bleeding, bleeding.

This how I know what love is.

And He said to me...

"You shall love Me."

Meanwhile & a Parable

Oh, how I extremely and enthusiastically like books! (I'm trying to not say that I "love" every single thing. It's hard!)

I randomly chose a book from my quaint and growing bookshelves to read in the sunshine and I discovered In the Grip of Grace, by Max Lucado. The first chapter already had me mesmerized and I knew this would be a blog-worthy read! But before I go into that, let me share with you the beautiful Word of God from the Message Bible. I go through phases of what versions I like to read best. I'm definitely liking this one right now. Check it out:

"God's Spirit beckons-- there are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God isn't a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a child-like, "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children...

Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us, its within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than it diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

The moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along... He knows us far better than we know ourselves. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good... the Son stands first in the line of humanity He restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him... If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing Himself to the worst by sending His own Son, is there anything else He wouldn't gladly and freely do for us?" -- from Romans 8

And now, for a parable by Max Lucado:

Once there were 5 brothers who lived in a castle with their father. The eldest was an obedient son, but his younger brothers were very rebellious. Their father had warned them about the dangers of the river, but they did not listen. One day, one of the brothers dared to feel the waters and told the other three, "Hold my hand, so I won't fall in." But the current was too strong, and the river pulled the brothers in. They were powerless against the strength of the current. The waters finally dumped them on the bank of a strange land. Though they did not know where they were, they knew they were not intended for this place.

With the passage of time, the brothers learned how to live in the land. They would sit by the fire and talk of their homeland, determined to return someday. Then, one night, one of the brothers was missing. The three found him in the valley with the savages, building himself a hut. He told them, "What good does it do to remember? Besides, this land isn't so bad. I will build a great house and settle here."

"What about father?"

"What of him? If he comes, he comes. But I'm not holding my breath."

So they left him there, and continued to meet around the fire and talk about their home, dreaming of their return.

Some days later, a second brother was missing. They found him on the hillside staring at the hut of his brother. "How disgusting," he told them. "Our brother is an utter failure. An insult to our name. Can you imagine a more despicable deed-- building a hut and forgetting our father?"

"What he is doing is wrong," said the youngest. "But what we did is wrong as well. We disobeyed. We ignored our father's warnings. Come, return to the fire with us."

"No, I'll keep an eye on our brother. Someone needs to stay here and keep a record of his wrongs for our father."

And so the two returned, leaving one brother building and the other judging. Then one morning, the youngest son was the only one at the fire. He searched for his brother and found him stacking rocks.

"It's no use," he said. "Father won't come for me. I have offended him. I have to build a path back up the river to him. When he sees my hard work, he will forgive me and let me into his house."

The last brother didn't know what to say. He returned to the fire alone. But one morning, he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Father has sent me to bring you home." It was the eldest Son. "Where are your brothers?"

"One has made a home here, another is watching him, and the third is building a path in the river." And so the Firstborn set out to find his siblings. He went first to the thatched hut in the valley. "Go away! You are not welcome here!" screamed his brother.

"I have come to bring you home."

"You have not. You have come to take my mansion! You cannot have it!"

"This is no mansion, this is a hut. Do you not remember the house of your father? You were born in a castle where the air is warm and the fruit is plentiful. I have come to take you home."

The savages appeared in the window, urging the brother to send this man away. They had the brother's trust, so he sent Him away. Firstborn sought the next brother. He didn't have to travel very far-- on the hillside near the hut sat the fault-finding son. When he saw the Firstborn appear, he said, "How good You are here to see the sins of our brother! I have kept an account of his evil deeds. Punish him! He deserves it!"

"We need to deal with your sins first."

"My sins are nothing! There is the sinner! Come, we'll peek in the windows. Let's go together!" He was at the hut before he realized the Firstborn had not followed him.

Next, the eldest son walked to the river. "Father has sent me to take you home."

"I can't talk now, I must work. I have to build a pathway up the river. I will show father I am worthy, then I will ask for his mercy."

The Firstborn replied, "He has already given his mercy. You will never be able to build a way, the task is too great for your hands. Father has sent me to carry you home. I am stronger."

For the first time, his brother looked up. "How dare you speak with such irreverence! My father will not simply forgive; I have greatly sinned. I need much work!" This younger brother looked at Him with anger. "You are the voice of evil. You are trying to seduce me from my holy work. Get behind me, you serpent!" And he hurled a rock at Him. So the Firstborn turned and left. The youngest brother was waiting for him. "The others didn't come?"

"No. One chose to indulge, the other to judge, and the third to work. None of them chose our father."

"Are we returning to Father?" the youngest asked.

"Yes."

"Will he forgive me?"

"Would he have sent me if he wouldn't?"

And so the younger brother climbed on the back of the Firstborn and began the journey Home.

I'm hoping you caught on to the symbolism here. It is such an accurate picture of how we react to the grace of God. Some of us treat it like dirt, choose to satisfy our own passions, and fulfill the verse that says, "God left them and let them go their sinful way." Romans 1:24. Or we are the judgmental ones who point our fingers at every person who is "worse" than us. Then there are the legalistic ones who feel like since they are so bad, they must do so much good to earn God's love. According to Romans 4:5, "People cannot do any work that will make them right with God." And lastly, there are the grace-driven Christians. Those who offer God a thankful heart for His salvation, knowing that because of His Son & not their own efforts, they have been made righteous. "Those who are right with God will live by trusting Him." Romans 1:17

So, all of that to say, you need to read this book. Max is so knowledgeable about the grace that he has abundantly received. I am ready to keep reading and learning so that I may truly become an acceptor and not a striver. I still find myself feeling like I need to do this or that to make God happy with me. I know that will be a lifelong struggle, since that is the basis of most relationships in our world-- What can you do for me? And, I will love you only if you love me in return. May He take all of us who believe deeper into the knowledge of His unending, unconditional, unmerited favor & love. It's too much for us to grasp, but with the assurance of His promises in His Word, we can get a pretty good idea! And we can know that we know that we know, that He loves us!

This book goes deeper into those profiles, and talks about God's righteous anger at sin. I will post more about that soon! My eyes are hurting, and I am ready for dinner :) So until next time:

1. Find this book!

2. Be thankful.

3. Kill someone with kindness. (I don't like the word kill, until I thought more about it and realized that you can kill the sin inside someone by caring about them so much & thus bringing them to Jesus!)

aaannnnddd 4. Take time to pray. If you will, pray for my friends-- the Grady's, Gage, and everyone around the world who needs a miracle & the saving, transforming power of Christ!

"You will see Him."

I found that phrase in Matthew, right after Jesus' resurrection. The angel tells the two Mary's, "He is going ahead of you... You will see Him there."

I don't think anyone today could say that they have literally seen God. The Bible actually tells us that no man may see the face of God and live. But I've heard someone explain so beautifully the incident when Moses asked to see the Lord, and He agreed to show Him his back once He had passed over Moses. So Moses did see God in a sense... he saw where He had been. We today can see where God has passed, even where His Spirit is working here and now. We see the evidence of His presence, but not the raw, powerful, holy presence that we will one day encounter.

I see God in lots of places, don't you? I see Him in my friends' smiles, in the breathtaking sunsets at the close of the day, and even in myself & how He has made me. But sometimes it's so hard to see Him in my circumstances. And I'm starting to think that I'm not supposed to be looking for Him there.

Just two days ago, we lost a lovely young woman in our community. I know people die every minute of every day, but there is something so eerie when it happens to someone you know and see often. In a moment, they can be gone. I cannot imagine the grief and despair felt by her family. Naturally, times like these stir up the deep and doubtful questions within our hearts. Where is my God now? Is He really good? Why would this happen?

Our circumstances, whether happy or sad, don't last forever. Our lives can be so up & down because of the things going on around us. So why do we focus on these temporary things and base our theology on what we have experienced? Why do we tend to look for Jesus in the horrible things that happen to us simply because we live in a broken world? He is the Eternal One, forever holy and forever true. May we never blame Him for our happenings, but choose to worship Him still because He is bigger and better than what this world has to offer us.

I find this passage so immensely encouraging and hopeful. Thankfully, we are not those who are without hope. Because of the perfect life & perfect love of Jesus Christ, we too will one day be "swallowed up by life!"

2 Corinthians 5:1-10

For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

I love that Heaven is such a mystery! I was just talking about this the other night with a friend. We both agreed that if we knew everything about our Home and this promise of new life, it wouldn't be as wonderful when we get there. Whether the judgement will be the moment we arrive or not until Jesus reclaims the earth, we can be confident that there is a place for us if we have accepted and received the blood of Christ in exchange for our sins, and if we have, as First John says, lived like Jesus here in this world.

So many nonbelievers and followers of different religions express their desire to go to heaven when they die. I must ask, why do you want to go and live with Jesus forever if you've never gotten to know Him in your lifetime?

Heaven IS Jesus! I don't care if my cat is there or if I'll get to see my great-grandmother. Yes, I care about them now, but I'll get to see JESUS! And hug Him and kiss His feet and finally, finally be made whole!!! That's what I believe heaven is all about. Meeting our Maker and worshipping Him forever and ever. If that sounds boring to you, then you don't know Jesus very well!

Darlene Zschech wrote, "The presence of God goes with you as you advance into the promises He has for you."

Let's determine to see Him in our lives and in our world. Keep running into all He has for you.

He has promised us that He will never leave our side. He prepares the way before us and follows close behind us.

What a great God!

As His presence surrounds you today, have a thankful heart and pursue HIS purposed for your life.

As Francis Chan said, "Jesus didn't die to follow us."

Make it your mission and your passion to know His heart & what He longs to see accomplished.

If you need help doing that, His Word and His Holy Spirit are there for you :)

Thank you, Jesus.

You have gone ahead, like a Bridegroom

to prepare a place for us, Your bride.

And we will see You!