Trust in Thee

Fear is not something that I struggle with. At least not all the time. But this morning, I just didn't feel right in my spirit, and had to speak out prayers to calm myself down. We talked about this very thing on Sunday night with our kids. We encouraged them to read Psalm 91 every night before they go to bed- so now I'm feeling the need to read it this morning. I really like The Message version:
"You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow, say this, 'God you're my refuge. I trust in You and I'm safe!' That's right- he rescues you from the hidden traps, shields you from the deadly hazards. His huge oustretched arms protect you- under them you're perfectly safe; his arms fend of all harm. Fear nothing- not wild wolves in the night, not flying arrows in the day, not disease that prowls through the darkness, not disaster that erupts at high noon. Even though others succumb all around, drop like flies right and left, no harm will even graze you. You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge, the High God your very own home, evil can't get close to you, harm can't get through the door. He ordered his angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they'll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling. You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpants from the path.
'If you'll hang on to Me for dear life,' says God, 'I will get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know and trust Me. Call on Me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you then throw you a party. I'll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!'"

Thank you Abba for your protection! I am safe in Your arms.

In the Bible Study I'm doing right now, Knowing God by Name, I'm learning about His names of diety. Yahweh, Elohim, Adonai... the ones that describe his lordship and power as God. Yesterday's was a long name, I don't even remember it, but it was the name that tells us He is the First and the Last. I felt so comforted when I read about His Infiniteness. She described the solar system, and how huge and infinite it is in and of itself, and that if we could fully comprehend how small and insignificant we are compared to that, we would certainly come to a new revelation of God's power and hugeness. He made all of it. Just think about that for a second. He made this world, from the millions and millions of stars light years away from each other, down to the microscopic bacteria and things we can't even see. Dang, He's awesome! I love this study. I am trusting Him more and more, and I know that my thoughts of fear and worry are trying to sway my faith. I won't let them :) My God is Infinite. And He loves me.

Adonai, my Lord and my Master, I trust in Thee.

Drink Coffee. Do Good.

So I got word of this awesome ministry via email from a conference I attended last fall. Its called Land of a Thousand Hills. They have partnered with farmers in Rwanda and are rebuilding the broken lives of believers there. I love their story, purpose, and hopefully I will thoroughly enjoy the coffee I just ordered!

Their website is http://www.landof1000hills.com/ if you would like to check it out, too.


There is an expectation and a certain level of stress that is continually developing around here. We are about 2 weeks away from our double church-plant. Easter weekend will be one of the busiest, most awesome weekends. I have a feeling the verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," will take on a whole new meaning.
I must remind myself over and over again that its not about "doing" ministry. I always worry about what I'm going to say or how I'll do this or that, but really, it's about the people. I don't know why we always feel the need to make our stages great, the music perfect, everything just right- and yet we forget that its all about relationships and living out the Love within us.
I got an email from my dear friend and inspiration, Ms. Sara, and it is something that I hope I will never forget. It's a story from a book called What's so Amazing about Grace?.

"A prostitute came to me in wretched straits, homeless, sick, unable to buy food for her two-year-old daughter. Through sobs and tears, she told me she had been renting out her daughter - two years old! – to men interested in kinky sex. She made more renting out her daughter for an hour than she could earn on her own in a night. She had to do it, she said, to support her own drug habit. I could hardly bear hearing her sordid story. For one thing, it made me legally liable – I’m required to report cases of child abuse. I had no idea what to say to this woman. At last I asked if she had ever thought of going to a church for help. I will never forget the look of pure, naïve shock that crossed her face. ‘CHURCH?’ she cried. ‘Why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself. They’d just make me feel worse.’”

What struck me about my friend’s story is that women much like this prostitute fled toward Jesus, not away from Him. The worse a person felt about herself, the more likely she saw Jesus as a refuge. Has the church lost that gift? Evidently the down-and-out, who flocked to Jesus when He lived on earth, no longer feel welcome among His followers. What has happened?


How sad is that... My prayer today and for the rest of my life is that I would allow Jesus to use my hands, feet, heart, mind, mouth, my whole being, for HIS purposes. If that is touching a leper, hugging the homeless, speaking to the masses, or enjoying meals with the rich, so be it. I am His. I am in this world to bring restoration and healing. I want to be like Jesus.

Lord, forgive me for my pride. For thinking that this life was made for me and my wants. Thank you for buying me with the highest price, for loving the wretchedness inside of me, and most of all for filling my broken life with your unconditional, undying love. Thank you for blessing me so that I may go into all the world and bless others, drawing them to You.

Speaking of going into all the world, I'm so excited to be going with a team from my church to Bolivia! I'll write more about that later. I don't know much about it, just that we'll be working with an incredible missionary that we help support. I know an orphanage and a school is involved. And we're building something. Will you pray for us? It feels a little unreal right now, and we have so much to plan and prepare for. Thanks!

"I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going." Psalm 139

Limitlessness...

So this book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, is awesome. It's challenging, inspiring, and even educational- he's a really smart guy. Like, in a scientific way. I like that because then I feel really smart when I read it :)
I'm not sure I could sum up what I learned from this book. It was a total information overload. That's what underlining is for, right? And since I've already passed my book on to someone, I'll try to recall some of my favorite lessons.

Referring to the title of this entry, I loved his explanation of Jesus' teaching about becoming like little children (you know me, its always about kids!). He says that you can go into a classroom of 1st graders, ask who in the class is an artist, and they all frantically wave their hands. When we're younger, we think we're geniuses. But deeper than that, we have the mindset that there is no limit to what we can do. Becoming like a child is reversing the "growing up" process that we experience. Mark says that we can become "small people with a small god." We must "regain the idea that we have been created by a limitless God to have limitless dreams and imaginations."

Another thing that majorly speaks to me in this season of my life is this passage:

"Lion chasers challenge the status quo. They climb cliffs, move to foreign countries, and build boats in the desert. Lion chasers are often considered crazy, but they are able to do these things because they aren't afraid of uncertainty. They don't need to know what is coming next because they know that God knows. They don't need explanations for every disappointment because they know God has a plan. Lion chasers refuse to settle down because they want to experience every divine twist and turn that God has in store for them."

Uncertainty is one of those things that is like a hidden fear. It births worry and stress- which obviously takes God and the meaning of faith out of the picture. I am definitely entering into a new time in my life where it's ok to say "I have no idea what's next." While planning and preparation play huge roles in life, there is a balance of having that child-like trust, and keeping your eyes on Daddy who will take you where you need to be. But not just where you NEED to be, He'll always let you have fun, too!

I could quote pages and pages of the book for you, but I think you should invest and buy it. You won't be let down!

"The goal of life is not the elimination of fear. The goal is to muster the moral courage to chase lions." -Mark Batterson

From the Abundance of My Heart:

I love my morning (and afternoon) quiet times here at work. That is one incredible benefit of ministry life- you always get to be in His Word. From teaching a Bible class with the kids, to just reading because I want to! What a wonderful life :) Here are some of my fav.'s from the past week or so...
"He doesn't heal us so He can use us. He heals us because He loves us, and then He invites us to play." -quote from Paul Young, author of The Shack.
The Holy Spirit watches over us with tender jealousy. -from James 4:5
"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness. Then it is peace-loving and courteous. It allows discussion and it willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It is wholehearted and straightforward and sincere." James 3:17
"If anyone can control his tongue it proves that he has perfect control over himself in every other way." James 3:2 (that's one to memorize!)
"Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, He remains faithful to us and will help us, for He cannot disown us who are part of Himself and He will always carry out His promises to us." 2 Timothy 2:13
"If you stay away from sin you will be like one of those dishes made of purest gold- the very best in the house- so that Christ Himself can use you for his highest purposes."
-I love this one. We can be like God's fine china-
"But the spiritual man has insight into everything and that bothers and baffles the man of the world who can't understand him at all. How could he? For certainly he has never been one to know the Lord's thoughts, or discuss them with Him, or to move the hands of God by prayer. But strange as it seems, we Christians actually do have within us a portion of the very thoughts and mind of Christ!" 1 Corinthians 2:15

And I have started a new book! Big surprise, huh? It's called In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson, and it is so amazing. He uses the story of Beniah, one of David's strong men, and the day that he came upon a lion on a snowy day. He didn't run, like normal people would do. He chased the lion into a pit, and then he killed it.
He compares our lives as followers of Christ to that one-liner in 2 Samuel about when Beniah CHOSE fear over the comfortable and much safer decision. I'll write about it more later. I'm only on chapter 4! So stay tuned!


"Many of our prayers are misguided. We pray for comfort instead of character. We pray for an easy way out instead of the strength to make it through. We pray for no pain, when the result would be no gain. We pray that God will keep us out of pits and away from lions. But if God answered our prayer, it would rob us of our greatest opportunities. Many of our prayers would short-circuit God's plans and purposes for our lives if He answered them. Maybe we should stop asking God to get us out of difficult circumstances and start asking Him what He wants us to get out of those difficult circumstances."

Doubting Thomas- just let it go.

Honestly, I am a doubter. Probably one of the biggest I know. I guess it's better than a liar, but OMG it's the most annoying thing ever. Did I really just say "omg"? I'm hanging around kids too much :)
I have seen God way too many times, experienced Him more than enough, and the doubts just keep on comin'. It's never the kind that would make me walk away, like I said I've seen too much. But it's there nonetheless.
I just watched a video on Cardboard Testimonies. If you've never watched one, I suggest that you do. It's one of the most powerful things.
I need to remind myself daily of not only what God has done in the lives of people all around me, but what He is doing every single second of every single minute of every single day in MY life.

"When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." Psalm 94:19

I was once brokenhearted- now I am filled and overflowing with Love.
I was once fearful and worried- now I have freedom to dream.
I was once bitter and angry- I can now live, laugh, and love without holding back.
I was afraid to trust- I'm learning everyday that He is above all, and He holds me by the hand.
I never knew the love of a daddy- now Abba is forever here with me, and He calls me His precious child.
I was lost, now I'm found.
I was blind- now I see, so clearly.
I couldn't eat spicy foods- I made it through 3 months in India with no (major) problems- He healed me!
I was insecure- now I know my true identity is in Christ Jesus.
My heart was stone- He gave me a heart of flesh, and filled it with every good thing.
I no longer carry a legacy of divorce- I have hope and joy for my future!


Just a few of the things that come to mind when I think about who I was before my sweet Jesus. What a wretch I am. My filthy rags I lay before His throne, and He gladly takes them and makes them into clothes fit for a Princess.

Though doubts fill my mind, no doubt is in my heart. He is who He says He is. He is no liar. I put my trust in Him today, tomorrow, forever.

My fav. song: Oh How He Loves Us...

"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. Then I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so. Oh how He loves us... how He loves us so.

We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss, and my heart turns violently inside of my chest.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us. Oh, how He loves us!"

...but the love of God changes us and we're never the same, we're never the same after we encouter the love of God. We're never the same after we encounter the love of God!

-Kim Walker-

His name...

This is from a book called, Prayers that Avail Much. It is so great! This is a prayer of adoration. I love it.

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless Your Holy Name. I adore You and make known to You my adoration and love this day:

I bless Your name, Elohim, the Creator of heaven and earth, who was in the beginning. It is you who made me and you have crowned me with glory and honor. You are the God of might and strength. hallowed be thy name.
I bless your name, El-Shaddai, the God Almighty of blessings. You are the breasty one who nourishes and supplies. You are all-bountiful and all-sufficient. hallowed be thy name!
I bless your name, Adonai, my Lord and my Master. You are Jehovah- the completely self-existing one, always present, revealed in Jesus, who is the same yesterday today and forever. hallowed be thy name.
I bless your name Jehovah-Jirah, the one who sees my needs and provides for them. hallowed be thy name!
I bless your name Jehovah-Rapha, my Healer and the one who makes the bitter experiences sweet. You sent your word and healed me. You forgave all my iniquities and you healed all my diseases. Hallowed be thy name!
I bless your name, Jehovah-M'Kaddesh, the Lord my Sanctifier. You have set me apart for Yourself. Hallowed be thy name.
Jehovah-Nissi. You are my Victory, my Banner, and my Standard. Your banner over me is love. When the enemy comes in like a flood, you lift up a standard against him. hallowed be thy name!
Jehovah- Shalom, I bless your name. You are my peace- the peace which transcends all understanding, which garrisons and mounts guard over my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. hallowed be thy name!
I bless you, Jehovah-Tsidkenu, my Righteousness. Thank you for becoming sin for me that I might become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. hallowed be thy name!
Jehovah-Rohi, you are my Shepherd, and I shall not want for any good or beneficial thing. hallowed be thy name.
Hallelujah to Jehovah-Shammah, the one who will never leave or forsake me. You are always there. I take comfort and am encouraged and confidently and bodly say, the Lord is my helper. I will not be seized with alarm- I will not fear or dread or be terrified. What can man do to me? Hallowed be thy name!
I worship and adore you, El-Elyon, the Most High God, who is the first cause of everything, the Possessor of the heavens and earth. You are the everlasting God, the great God, the living God, the merciful God, the faithful God, the mighty God. You are truth, justice, righteousness, and perfection. You are El-Elyon the highest sovereign of the heavens and earth. Hallowed be thy name!
Father, you have exalted above all else your Name and your Word. The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, and His name is Jesus. Hallowed be Thy name!!

----------------
I have never thought of this, but maybe I'm just slow. There's a part in there about Him being our Healer. Scripture says by Jesus' wounds we are healed. And the Bible also says that Jesus is God's Word sent to earth. So, in my mind it clicked. God's Word- the literal pages of scripture- heal us.
We hear so many hurts and struggles that believers go through. I believe that when we take in God's Word, it will bring the deepest kind of healing. I know in my own life when things start getting hard, or life overwelms me, the first thing I drop is reading His Word. It's like somehow the enemy knows that this is such a blessing and remedy to me, he wants to do everything to distract me from the healing I need.
Thank you my Jesus. I am so grateful, words can't even begin to express. You are more than enough for me.

Enriched

1 Corinthians 1:4-5 "Now that you are Christ's, He has enriched your whole life!"
I love how that verse is worded. I do live a life that is so enriched. Lately, I have been battling with my attitude and emotions. It's almost a constant fight to hold on to my usual smiling face and joyous presence. Am I drained? I don't feel like it. I am excited, actually. And have been spending time in His Word, and yesterday I watched several NOOMA videos from Rob Bell and really received from him. I think it might be the absence of just soaking in His presence. I hardly ever worship anymore, except in my car on occasion. And you know what I mean by that- we worship God in so many ways, but I've always connected deeply to Him with music.
I have some awesome news: my Grandma & Grandpa called me this weekend and told me that my dad got baptized a few weeks ago and is getting involved in church. They said they can tell a difference in him- that he's genuinely excited about life. It blesses me so much to hear that! I don't have a relationship with my dad, but I've been praying for years that restoration would come- first in his life, and then for us. Thank you God that you've started a good work in his heart!
We are planning on planting 2 new churches in our area. Being short of staff, we really are depending more than ever on the strength that only He can give. Please pray!
Our Disney World trip was so awesome. We were able to truly be kids again :) and friendships grew tighter and deeper. I love these people so much! I don't know why I always focus on the friends that are away from me... God has so richly blessed me here and now.

I rarely watch Christian television for obvious reasons- much of it is way oldschool, and honestly bores me. Or it's so corny that I want to laugh, and then feel bad. But I was flipping channels this weekend and started listening to pastor named Jenetezen Franklin (not really sure how to spell his first name). He has a HUGE church. It looked like thousands of people were in that sanctuary. He was talking about different covenants throughout the Old Testament- specifically, the covenant of salt. I had never heard of it before, so I decided to watch.
He had a loaf of bread and a salt shaker for a visual aid. He used the story of Lot as one of his examples (I don't remember the other ones) and how Lot was considered a righteous man. Lot had God in his life- the bread- but he did not have the salt. What is the salt? It's the high standard of purity and righteousness that we choose to take up when we surrender our lives to Christ. Jesus says that we are the salt of the world- we bring a certain flavor to this place that other people do not have. When Lot was fleeing from Sodom and Gomorrah, his wife disobeyed God and looked back on the city and turned into... salt? Maybe God did that to prove that a certain saltiness was missing from their lives. The pastor mentioned that God did not call us to be sugar- we are not supposed to sweeten up the message of the Gospel so that more people will be comfortable and come, but we are to be SALT. It can be bitter to the taste, but it makes you thirsty for more.
It was a serisouly good message. I was so challenged by it. We talked about this in our girls Bible Study a while back. Colleene took a cookie and poured a little bit of salt on it. We all agreed that if you tasted the cookie, it wouldn't be much different than before. But then she doused the cookie in salt, and explained that saltiness is offensive at times. We follow a God who is holy, who calls us to be holy like Him. We are supposed to be blatantly different from this world. And at times, it will offend.

Like I've written in a previous blog:
There are other ways to live that won't get you beat up, put down, or nailed to a cross.
Praise God that we can bear His image so beautifully that it would cause anger and guilt and conviction in the lives of unbelievers. But we must remember to respond with LOVE.