Tiffany.

I am still so surprised at how raw and fresh the heartache is from the tragedy that happened almost 2 years ago. I didn't even know Tiff and Phil that well, but I still openly and deeply grieve over what happened...

Today is Tiff's birthday. She would be 28 if she was still here with us. I am so moved by what her close friends and family still write on her facebook-- the many memories, inside jokes, the things that they miss most about her, how she changed their lives. It's a very beautiful thing, but it's also a very sobering thing. I often wonder, "What if that happened to me? What is it that people would say? What would I leave behind?" I guess you can't answer those questions yourself. And we will probably never know how significant we are until God tells us face to face. But wow, what a reminder to take every single second of every single day and every opportunity to spend ourselves for others, to show the unbelieving world how great and awesome and wonderful He is, and to simply love.

That is her legacy... she took the words of Ephesians 5:2 serisouly and literaly, "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ." I think only a few people will ever truly understand the depth and reality of that verse. I think we have to choose to let God season our lives with all the sorrow, hurt, pain, loss, and tragedies we experience in order to grow and stretch our hearts so that love, joy, gladness, thankfulness, and grace will abound more and more in us. There are few things that break us like grief does. It always reminds me of Job, and the incredible story that he lived. Through disaster, poverty, disease, the loss of his kids, he remained faithful. I am sure that the joy and love he experienced after his tragedy was tremendously magnified compared to his life before his loss.

It's been a personal belief-battle when it comes to determining if God takes away. The Bible obviously proves that He is the life-giver. But it also proves that His will is sovereign. I have no doubts that our enemy steals, kills, and destroys. But maybe we have focused too much anger towards him, and not enough attention towards God. Ask Him to heal, but also ask Him to teach you. Let the wound be fresh for as long as it needs to be so that you can suck all the life out of it as you can. I pray that my heart would never be hardened or unaffected by the losses in my life. There is always more that God wants to reveal to us. Lord, open my heart again.

I will remember you, Tiffany. That you were an "angel with patches". That you let Christ's love live and breath through you. That you were a giver of chocolates, of hugs, and of encouragement. That you worshipped with everything in you. That you found joy in the small things. And that you never passed up an opportunity to show hospitality, not just because it was your job, but because God wants us to. You will forever be an example for me, and for anyone who learns of your story. Thank you for living a life of love. I know Jesus is so proud of you, and that right now, in this moment, you are experiencing the Love that we all look forward to. I love you, and can't wait to tell you how you've changed my life.