the way I am

Side note: Yes, I am writing nearly every day,

but not publishing it to this blog.

You people don't really want to know all those personal details,

do you?

I'm marveling this morning at the reality that in a few years, I will not be the same person. Next year I will not be the same person. Maybe next month, even! We are aging, learning, moving. Changing.

I'm reading over my strengths [ yet again ] because I'm not sure that I really know myself. Friends have told me that recently: "Candice, you seem to know yourself really well." And I do intentionally take time to reflect and learn who I am, but it also seems like once I think I've got it, something changes again. Ah, life.

So this phrase caught my eye as I was reading about Positivity:

"You think in terms of possibilities."

I love that at first. And then I think about how so many times it has set me up for frustration, usually in my relationships with others. I believe everything is possible, but I fail to accept the present reality of a person or a situation. How do I have realistic expectations when I was created to dream and believe?

And then my Developer comes in:

"Your developer talents might lead you to become so invested in the growth of others that you ignore your own development... Don't over-invest in losing causes; your natural inclination to see the best in people and situations can create a blind spot that will keep you from moving on to more opportune situations."

I suppose this is where having a Counselor comes in. Only God can help my heart discern where I should stay and when I should go, who I should stick with or how to move on. It's not about figuring out myself as much as it's about growing in my love and knowledge of Him. Growing in the humility needed to lay down my own understanding and trust.

Just trust.