j.O.y.

And more C.S. Lewis...

"I call it joy which is here a technical term and must sharply be distinguished both from happiness and from pleasure.

Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic in common with them-- the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world.

But then joy is never in our power and pleasure often is."

** What a powerful statement. I could physically feel the truth of those words when I read them (weird?). I have been on this mental processing route since the School of Social Justice last fall. We had a teaching on suffering, and it really challenged me to see it in a different light. Plus reading Katie Davis's blog on a regular basis will screw with your version of joy a little bit. Or a lot.

It's strange to me that our surroundings and culture have so much to do with how we view God and what we believe life is all about. Wouldn't it have been easier to just put this solid understanding of Him in the heart of every person, regardless of how they are raised and what they see and who teaches them?! But life is not about what is easy. Dangit.

So what about joy? The New Testament is teeming with phrases like "count it all joy when you suffer" and "blessed are those who are persecuted and hated because of Me," and so on. This doesn't make sense in my head. And when I let it sink into my heart, I usually cry. Both because I really like comfort and security and because I know it is my place and purpose to suffer with those who are suffering.

I know that kind of joy, though. And it doesn't feel good. But it is very real. It's almost like, once you experience true joy, you realize that the happiness and pleasure you've always surrounded yourself with is actually superficial and fake. It's quite a blow to your world and seems to ruin everything, when in reality it brings heaven to earth and helps you to see with more than your eyes that all this stuff doesn't actually matter. People are truly treasures hidden in clay pots, with hard lives and deep issues, and loving them is more than a command: it's truly a cause to give everything up for.

from Screwtape Letters:

"He cannot tempt to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand, and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles.

Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human no longer desiring, but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

An example of suffering love to me-- looking at this broken world, feeling the pain and hate, and still believing that in all this crap, He is here. That His love conquers all. That even if I don't see it, I trust in His goodness and faithfulness.

Such joy can be found there in the believing without seeing.

And that's where I aspire to live my life.