About a boy

"There are better things ahead than any we leave behind."

C.S. Lewis

Hmmm... where to begin? I am thoroughly enjoying life in a northern town. Summers are much, MUCH more enjoyable here. The people are extremely nice (the ones I've met, at least). I am living with such people-- so grateful to be on the receiving end of biblical hospitality! It's a huge part of my heart to practice this in my own life when I have a home that is mine to open up to strangers and wanderers. Amazing gift to experience! I feel His hand of blessing so heavy on my life. Very humbling. Very, very thankful.

Kip asked me once if I've blogged about him yet. I haven't. And I suppose it's time to!

I think it's because I can't quite put words to this time of life. It is completely foreign to me to be in a relationship. A real one. And yet it feels so natural. It's strange only when I think about it and compare my life up until now to where I am and what I am doing. I asked a friend before I left home if he thought I was crazy. He said yes, but then he brought up the point that since I graduated high school, I haven't stayed in one place for very long, I've traveled the world, so no... it's not really that crazy! Minus the fact that now it's about a boy.

I've asked Kip several times if he's sure about this. About me. Because though I seem to have it all together, most of the time I feel like a "small, emotionally disturbed child" to quote Julie & Julia (which we recently watched, which Kip really liked!). It's pretty amazing to be with someone and know that they adore you-- not just the you that other people know, but the you that often stays hidden and quiet and only comes out when it feels safe or is provoked. The good, the bad, and the ugly-- the tired, the annoyed, the overwhelmed. He's seen most of that by now and still calls me beautiful. And I feel the love of my Father.

It's a very interesting process to go through... I wish I had no fear, but somehow it's a blessing. I'm leaning on Him, clinging to the truth that no matter what happens, He has me. I am opening myself up to another person in a new & deeper way, which simultaneously teaches me to trust in the Lord and not in myself. It's exciting and fun and terrifying, much like my walk of faith thus far. I feel so blessed (I can't seem to find a better word!) to know a man with a heart like his. He probably wouldn't want me to tell this to the world, but I'm going to anyway. We biked to the Twins game last week and on our way home we stopped to chat with a homeless guy named James. Kip immediately asked him if he wanted a new shirt, and James was really confused! He was like, what are you doing? Why are you being so nice? And Kip gave him his Twins shirt. We hung around and listened to his stories for a bit, then walked the rest of the way home. It's especially in moments like that when I'm so blown away by his love for people. My favorite thing is being in conversations with others and watching him put all of his focus and attention on that person, in that moment. I both envy and appreciate that about him, because I don't feel like I love people that much.

I still have so much to learn about love, but it seems like we're on the right path. There's a reality that we don't complete each other-- that's Jesus. But we do compliment each other very well (example: in the library, he grabbed a baseball stats book while I was nearly crying over a Mother Teresa book. There has to be a balance there!)

So this is my life at the moment. I'm growing. I'm loving being in a new place with new people. It's oddly comfortable, while at the same time still very challenging. I miss my home community, but I know that I'll be back soon enough. I want to keep moving forward. There will always be an ache in my heart for what/who I've left behind, but God is so good. I can't get over how great life is. Even when circumstances aren't the greatest, life is such a beautiful gift.

"Make your choice, adventurous Stranger,

strike the bell & bide the danger

or wonder, till it drives you mad

what would have followed if you had..."