Pages

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Blindly.

I raised my hand this morning. Not for salvation, but in desperation. I've lost count of the months that I've been in the same position-- tears on my face, an ache in my heart, and a prayer on my lips. "Father, I'll go wherever, I'll do whatever, please just speak to me."
We had a missionary couple from Ecuador with us this morning. His words fanned the fire in my heart as he spoke of thousands of girls in this country who are mindlessly sold or given away to the sex slave industry. Joil shared about taking risks, about leaving your comfortable life, because when we're comfortable God doesn't get the glory. He used the analogy of eagles and what happens when it's time for the babies to learn how to fly. There isn't a safe, tranquil training session. They are pushed, thrust out of the nest. This is the same wordage that is used in Matthew 9:38 when Jesus tells his disciples about the harvest field & says to pray that workers may be "sent out." In other words, pushed from their normal, calm lives and thrown into a world that desperately needs the very body of Christ present and ready to help. I love the simplicity of ministry-- find a need and do something to meet it.
Back to the eagles: if the youngster doesn't succeed on the first try, the mother will take it higher and drop it again. But she never leaves; she picks up her young again and again until they learn to fly. Or, if they won't leave the nest, she will tear it apart piece by piece until there is nothing comfortable left and they have no other choice. This is sounding all too familiar, isn't it? Yet as much as this message made sense to me, what I can't decide is where my comfort resides. I really haven't been completely comfortable with any place that He's taken me. It's not comfortable for me to be here with no specific career path or plan. I think of all the groups and organizations who are fighting for the same passions of my heart and wonder if I'd be too comfortable there. Maybe it's the fact that I'm so uncomfortable right now writing this in my comfortable home that tells me I'm where I need to be.
In the words of a country song, how do you keep your feet on the ground when you know you were born to fly? I do not know. Some days I feel like I'm hopelessly jumping here and there, trying to find my wings and my way, and then I'm reminded that when it's time, He'll give me a good shove.

I raised my hand to receive grace in what I am to do, to let go of fear and striving. I placed my hand on my heart to promise my obedience & my whole life to His call. I will fall, I will fail. But His love never fails.

You are walking on water. And You are calling me after. May I learn to trust You with everything in me.


I close my eyes
everything disappears but Your smile.
I raise my hands
on a cliff I stand.
Arms open wide.
You're the Father, I'm the child.
You whisper to me...
step off the edge.
Leave it all behind.

So much more has been waiting
on the other side.
I think it's time
we cross this river so wide.
Leave these shores
step off the edge
Leave it all behind.

Let go.

Fly.


-Jonathan David Helser-

No comments: