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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Because I Want To.


I'm just writing tonight because I want to. Is that ok with you? No agenda. No book comments. No quotes. Well... scratch the last one, I might have a few quotes. You know me.
I am enjoying this wonderful heartburn (that my mother told me I am too young to have) from the delish stir-fry I made. Yes, from scratch. Except Publix does this wonderful thing where they'll freshly prepare anything you need, like fruits or veggies. Great! So I didn't have to buy everything separately. It was very good. The peppers always get me! Too bad I no longer carry Tums with me. 65-year-old at heart, I guess. (heh, heh)
So everyone keeps asking me where I am going next. It's so stressful sometimes- I feel pressured to always have a plan. Gosh, people! In case you are wondering, I don't have a plan!! And that's ok! For now. Not to rush you Lord, but I'd like to know SOMETHING by January, k? I'm really hoping my friend Tasha will move here. Then we can work our tails off, save money, and move to Australia together. In our dreams. Well, literally, in mine. I find myself dreaming about Hillsong often. But for now... it's just a dream.
I was reading a devo the other day & it said this:
"It's not wrong to depend on your 'Elijah' as long as God gives him to you. But God doesn't intend him to stay and although the thought causes you to say 'I can't continue,' you must. There are times when we must go on alone, and draw from God the strength to do it."
What a great way to describe every great thing that I have clung to in my life. God brings people, things, opportunities into our lives, but we are never meant to depend on or hold those things so tightly and closer to our hearts than Him. I have done that. More than once! When people ask me if I'll ever go back into YWAM, I sadly answer that I don't think I will. Not because God is a cruel God and He doesn't want me to be happy, but because God sees the whole picture of my life & has innumerable plans for me that are greater than I could ever understand. Sometimes going back to something you once loved is just that... going back. I want to keep running forward in this race. Though many things bring us pleasure, not all those things are what God intends for us. And its a hard thing to give up sometimes. Scary, too. It's like He purposely moves me right when I'm feeling comfortable. I'm thinking that's the point, right? To totally go against every logical and "that makes sense" decision or path for my life! It's frustrating and extremely comical all at the same time! I love Him so much!
(My neighbors are seriously rockin' out at their Halloween party. Current song: Love Shack)
That's all of my spiritual blabber for the night. I have had such a wonderful day, praise Jesus. This week has been exhausting, but so refreshing, too! And my sweet Abba brought some dolphins my way :) He knows I really, really enjoy that. Like a kiss from heaven. ANNND the sunset was crazy beautiful! Did you see it?! Oh, it was lovely. I'll end this with a favorite Psalm of mine...

The heavens declare the glory of God
and the sky proclaims the work of His hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they communicate knowledge.
There is no speech, there are no words, their voice is not heard.
Their message has gone out to all the earth
& their words to the ends of the inhabited world.
In the heavens He has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a groom coming from the bridal chamber;
it rejoices like an athlete running his course.
....
the instruction of the Lord is perfect
reviving the soul.
the testimony of the Lord is trustworthy
making the inexperienced wise.
the Lord's precepts are right
making the heart glad.
the commandment of the Lord is radiant
making the eyes light up.
the fear of the Lord is pure
enduring forever.
the ordinances of the Lord are reliable
and altogether righteous.
They are more desirable than gold, than an abundance of pure gold!
In addition, your servant is warned by them:
there is great reward in keeping them.

Psalm 19

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