SCARED.

SCARED

Tom Davis

"The utter depravity of these terrible acts, the sheer poverty and sickness, death, and sadness-- these things can weigh down your soul and render it weak and useless, or they can stir your soul to life in a way that changes you. And other people as a result. I believe this is God's way."

This book has gripped my heart in a way very similar to what the Shack did (if you've read that one, you REALLY understand). Staged in the life of a Time magazine photojournalist, and also through the perspective of a Swaziland orphan battling the AIDS crisis among many other injustices in her life, this book delivers a life-changing message. Maybe it's my missionary heart, but I sobbed through almost the entire 283 pages! And I finished it in about 3 hours. I won't write a major review, but that should clue you in on how awesome it is. Now, by awesome, I do not mean YAY! awesome. It is gut-wrenchingly intense, graphic, and terrible. But I strongly believe in choosing to take the scales off our eyes and realize what the rest of the world deals with on an every day basis. It's not peaceful. It's not happy. It's real. And thankfully, God is moving. Sometimes in nearly invisible ways. But He is at work, and we are victorious over this world!

Every time I read this kind of book, watch this kind of movie, or visit these kinds of places, there is a certain instinct that kicks in and wants to totally take control-- it is that of immense and exuberant compassion; one that might be damaging to myself, in a way, but in the moment I could care less.

I have always had a heart for Africa. What Christian hasn't? I think it is the most well-known country in need. Maybe because it is the biggest? Or is that Russia? Anyways, as I'm engulfing myself in the pages of this book, my heart is pounding and my spirit is urging, "You have to do something!" There is a great line where one of the reporters replies that we often see the big picture and focus on all the major things we would have to accomplish in order to fix this big problem, and in the process of doing that we can miss out on the small things that we can do to help. I need to write that on my wall somewhere... wise words that will protect me from hopping on the next plane to South Africa and selling everything I have. (not that its necessarily a bad thing!)

I experienced this overwelming feeling when we were in India. At every street corner there was a tattered, nappy-headed, snotty child begging you for money. One girl literally pinched me through the bars of a rickshaw to get my attention. That broke me. My team had to rely entirely on the Holy Spirit to give us discernment and wisdom in our giving, as most "poor" people often aren't really poor. It's a sad, sad world. I can remember one day we had this scavenger hunt. We separated into different teams and scattered around the city trying to complete all the tasks on our list. One was to buy shoes for someone. Well, as we were browsing in one of the markets, we found some little friends. 3 girls, if I remember correctly. All bare-footed. So we bought them the CUTEST shoes we could find in the store. We happened to pass by the same place a couple days later, saw the same girls, and not one of them were wearing their gifts. It's moments like those when you question if anything you do is making a difference; if you are being a light that pierces the ever-present darkness; if you are truly loving in all of your actions allowing God to show off through your life.

Scared also sympathizes the doubts that we all secretly hold in our minds... "How can God be here, in the midst of all this evil? How can He sit back and do nothing?" It is in those questions that we often forget what has already been done for us. The precious blood of Jesus. When you read the book you will see that even in horrible circumstances, God's promises never change. This truth is proved many times, not only in these pages, but in the many inspired pages of scripture.

It is my prayer and my greatest desire to travel this earth and teach, love, learn, change and be changed. I think there is such a special thing about missions... something about going to an unknown place, with unknown people, experiencing fear mixed with excitement (and often stomach issues caused by unknown foods). I am absolutely thrilled for my next journey, whenever that may be! And in the meantime, I have the opportunity of sowing the "small" seeds, working for the Kingdom in seemingly small ways, without the negative effects of jet lag and food that crawls! Hallelujah, I accept my task, Lord!

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing the let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27