So I need to take some time and focus my thoughts on something. I just watched the 100th video cast from YWAM Denver. It was so good! It almost brought me to tears-- that place is like home to me. Or better. It has taken such an intimately special place in my heart. God worked so many wonders in my life while I was being discipled there. And it was FUN! I can't imagine my life without the experience those people provided for me; a place where my heart and soul were tenderized and made ready to hear the voice of my Maker, where I had so many spiritual ups and downs and came out a much stronger and wiser follower of Jesus Christ. *SIGH* So much joy and sadness at the same time! I long to receive richly from Him like I did while I was there...
Speaking of, I finally finished the book on John. Beth ended it so beautifully despite the confusing and dreadful words of John's revelation of the end of times. I've never realized how annointed and set apart that man was. And oh, how he loved his Best Friend and Savior. If you don't mind, I'll just share some quote-age from her ending chapters:
"During our stay on this earth, we are to be like trees of life bringing forth much fruit in our seasons so others can 'taste and see that the Lord is good.'"
"He prepares an inconceivable place for those who receive His love. He highly esteems those who choose to believe His call over the paralyzing screams of their own insecurities. No, our names won't be written on the foundations of the New Jerusalem, but they ARE engraved in the palms of His hands."
"Worship in its simplest essence is attentiveness."
"Christ has invested everything on earth into His church. He willingly fills her, frees her, purifies her, and restores her, but He never takes His eyes off her. Lives are at stake. Church matters. Bride, make yourself ready!"
"Better to pour out our lives in places unknown than to become dry bones in the places we've always been."
That last statement really blew me away. Read it again. Maybe it's just me, but that is an intense thing to say! She is referring to the time in John's life where he wasn't mentioned in scripture like the other apostles. She calls it "obscurity". I am so encouraged by this statement: The answers God is willing to give us in our tomorrows often flow from our faithfulness when we have none today.
BAM!!! Ok, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but bear with me. John was in "unknown places" while we find ourselves mostly reading about Paul's story in the New Testament. But God didn't just let John go his own way. He used it to prepare him for the ultimate Revelation of His plan. Wherever you are in your walk next to Him, be encouraged by this. Even when we don't have answers, even when we feel obscure and insignificant, God wants to use up every milisecond of our days to prepare us for the next task He has for us. Be attentive!
In my Bible study, Beth shares a new twist on a miracle we read about in Acts 3:1-7. This beggar was healed, but it was because of a few minor details. He looked at Peter and John, which caused him to more effectively listen to what they were saying, which in turn altered his feelings, manifesting a change in his expectations. In Psalms, when David says the words "I lift my eyes to You," it represents a gesture of deep longing. God wants our eyes fixed upward like someone down on her knees at His feet.
Yeah I know I'm all over the place, but I'm processing all of this, too. When we are in the desert places, the unknown places, the dark places, where do we find ourselves looking? If we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, we are more prone to actually hear what He is trying to say to us, which will bring a change of what we expect Him to do for us, in us, and through us. Like John, who held on during the seemingly insignificant seasons of his life, we can receive much revelation, wisdom, direction, and affection from our God. I love His name, El Roi, the God who sees me. Even when I so often look away, His gaze is ever upon me. Beth says it perfectly, "Somehow in His limitless capacity to love, nurture, and watch over us, Christ can attend to each of us as if we are the only one in the world."
I hope you stayed with me through the "obscurity" of this blog. Ha! Sometimes there is so much in my heart that I want to share, and so much in my head that I've learned and I need to get out in order to process it all. Did you follow me? Alright, overall point: Keep your eyes upward, longing looking and expecting great and awesome wonders from our Lord. Even in our weird times and seasons, He has His amazing plans. Keep looking!!
One more example! It just came to me. Have you ever known someone all your life, but suddenly one day you really look at them. You notice the details of their face. And you think to yourself, "I've known them so long, but I've never really looked intently at them." Well, that happens to me a lot! I might be a freak, but I still catch myself realizing new things about people I've known since I've been alive! And isn't that an incredible thing about God?! We think we have seen every part of Him and learned all the ways He'll work, and then He totally surprises us. We notice a wrinkle, or a new freckle, or that He has a certain way that He laughs. Figuratively speaking, of course. Except the laughing part. We've shared in many a laughs together :)
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth
will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace.
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