A Bigger Bowl.

Alright, I have to get this off my chest. For the last several weeks, I've been having a rough time. Just in general. Work has been GREAT, and I'm SO ready for Kids Camp. But it's like when I have time to realize where I am in life, there is something missing. Or better put, I feel like there are greater things for me. Now, I need you to know that I am most certainly not being boastful or exalting myself in any way. I'm simply saying that I feel a greater call on my life, and I think God is seriously preparing me for it.

To explain the title of this one, I was watching a sermon from Steven Furtick, and I thought some ice cream might go great with the Word of God :) So I got up and picked out my favorite little cup-- it's like a short, fat tea-cup. I love it! I'm not sure why. Well, I didn't hold back on the ice cream. I filled that little cup, and even put more than I should have. Then I continued to sprinkle some choclate chips on top (my fav!). As I was walking back to my room, I heard a little "tink" on the floor, and hoped my mom didn't hear it, too. Yeah, she did. And she does not like food on the floor. So she says, kind of hurtfully, "Candice! You should have gotten a bigger bowl!"

As I walked back to my room, this revelation came to me. In this present season (and it has literally been a PRESENT-- God has done so much!) I am too full. It's like my heart is spilling over. But many people don't understand, and they aren't comfortable with me. Of course it hurts my feelings because I'm the "I want everyone to be happy and love one another, especially me!" kind of person. God has been so faithful and sweet to encourage me through my incredible friends and brothers & sisters in Christ. Still, it's been hard.

Back to the greatness thing:
One of our speakers in YWAM had prophesied over me, and the words he said seemed to fit so well with my past and where I had been before YWAM. Now I'm seeing how it so perfectly fits now, too. He talked about my name, and said "Cand-ice" means that I'm like a can-- there is so much inside of me, but I've kept it "canned up" because people at home either don't understand where I'm going or what I'm doing. Then for "ice", he used Prov. 11:25, those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. He told me whatever ministry God would have me in, I would be like a refreshing glass of ice-water to those around me. Well, I don't know about that part, but I'm feeling the whole CANNED thing right now.

In a way, it gives me so much hope for my future. To know that my purpose as a child of God is to live in the greatness, prosperity, joy, and blessings of the Lord is so awesome! I was thinking about that today... the wonders of being an adopted child of the Creator, Sustainer, and Ruler of all that is known and unknown... it's indescribable!

I also received a much MUCH needed word from my dear friend, Jillian, the other night. We talked for like 2 hours, which was much needed in and of itself. She gave me Habakkuk 2:1. He says that he will climb up and sit on his watchtower and wait until God answers him. It's definitely encouraging to know that I'm the right path of seeking His answers and direction, but that one little word is so difficult... "wait."
Why can't we wait?!?! It's like THE most difficult thing for us to do. Especially when God asks us to. But I have no choice, do I? And I keep asking Him to not only reveal His plans for me in HIS time, but also to continue teaching me here. It has always been a goal of mine to remain teachable. I think the ultimate source of that is humility.
I also realize that there is no other place on earth that I would rather be than smack-dab in the middle of His will for me. Whatever plans, tasks, or assignments He has, I welcome them! Here, for example, has been a struggle since the moment I joined staff. I agree with Bobbie Houston when she says that the ministry of people is beautiful, but very exhausting! I would never trade this time. But that doesn't take away the yearning in my spirit to move on to the next mission He has ordained for me.

This really spoke to me, too: "Only after we have learned to prioritze faithfulness rather than results are we ready for the next truth: Christ is the door opener...the Holy Spirit has to prepare the way and go before us through the door. That's how it opens! Otherwise, it's either the wrong door or the wrong time."

Praise Him for His faithfulness to me, to you, and to all His redeemed children. He is the Preparer of the Way, the most loving Father who wants the ultimate best for His kids!

I pray that You wouldn't let me wander off Your path. No even one step to the right or the left. I've lost myself for good within Your promise, and I'm going wherever You would have me go! Thank you for making the seasons of my life beautiful in YOUR perfect timing. And thank you for calling me Yours!!

"There's no where I would rather be than with You..."