for those who have ears

I really like this quote. And can't even think of words worthy enough to explain what it means to me right now. It will just have to be enough on its own.

"Those who hear not the music think the dancer is mad."

carpe diem

"The unknown doesn't scare them. It beckons them like a long lost love or childhood dream."

Synonyms for adventure :

endangerment

hazard

peril

speculation

Antonyms for adventure :

avoidance

inaction

stillness

plan

[ I thought that was very interesting ... ]

"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation."

What would it be like to wake up everyday with "breathless expectation"?

I'm not quite a morning person, so I'm automatically a bit discouraged by this idea. However, I think it goes a lot deeper than waking up and feeling eccentrically excited and being ready to physically leap out of your bed. Some days I do lie there for a moment and think of how amazing it is that I have more time, another day, and I ask Him what kinds of things we could do and who we might get to meet and where I should go. I pray for expectation like that. Could you imagine how much fuller life would be if we had an expectant, childlike heart?

I remember very few times from my childhood, but I can remember some of the vacations we went on. I was just so excited to go somewhere new and see my cousins and have a whole week to play! I wasn't thinking about gas money or condo expenses or what we were having for dinner... that was all taken care of.

Sometimes I hate how my mind goes crazy about details. I'm currently planning a trip to the great land of Canada, and multiple times I have gotten so overwhelmed and lost in the plans that I've forgotten to be thankful for another trip and another new place. I so easily forget that many lack this luxury of traveling, of best friends, of so many things that I take for granted so often. Humph. I don't like that!

My new goal and focus to set my mind/heart upon is this thing of adventure: of spontaneity, of risk, of trusting that He's got it covered and I just need to enjoy the moment, the day. And be grateful.

I've also been thinking about this nagging feeling that has followed me most of my young life thus far... it's a feeling that makes me second-guess nearly every decision, in fear that I didn't wait for the best. I'm really starting to see past this whole "waiting" thing. I understand we all have seasons of it; I've totally been there. But now I'm beginning to feel and live in a sense of urgency. Like I have no clue how much time on this earth I'll have so I must literally seize every opportunity! I think I included a quote similar to this in my last post: what if in the waiting for "something better" we completely miss out on the greatness of now? I think this encompasses so many areas of life. All of life, really.

Don't over-think and over-analyze everything!!! (Me talking to myself)

I'm ready to be free and truly enjoy life, living deeply and engaged in today, not missing out on seemingly insignificant conversations or encounters.

I so desire to live intentionally, in every aspect.

With the grace of God, and in the forgetting of self, I think this is possible!

I know it's possible.

Jesus, my love, I want to live like You.

"I'd rather get wet...

... than have a numb gluteus maximus. Sinking is better than sitting."

On days like this (cloudy, chilly, nothing to do, nowhere to go) one of my favorite things to do is find a book that I read a long time ago that really challenged me in the season I was in, read through it again and remind myself of some forgotten wisdom and words. Today's pick: In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, by Mark Batterson. As my beginning quote implies, it is much better to risk and to fail than to not risk at all. Such is the topic of this book, based on the story of Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He decided to chase a lion, something most rational people would never do, and that decision shaped his destiny.

This book covers many things from seeing failure and adversity as opportunity to calling us out of normality and into our God-given passions and an exciting life. I love it! It's challenging. Here's some for you to read:

"The more you're willing to risk, the more God can use you. And if you're willing to risk everything, then there is nothing God can't do in and through you."

"Everything we change, changes everything."

"Most God-ordained dreams die because we aren't willing to do something that seems illogical."

"Sin is settling for anything less than God's best. Faith is renouncing lesser gods for something greater. And it always involves a calculated risk."

"...Their fear of missing out is greater than the fear of messing up."

"Have you read the Bible lately? Faith is risky business."

"I don't think anyone has ever sacrificed anything for God. Why? Because we always get back more than we give up."

"The only regrets we'll have at the end of our lives will be that we didn't seek God more or seek God sooner. That's it."

"Waiting for greater certainty may cause you to miss an opportunity."

"Following Jesus and keeping in step with the Spirit require the art of improvisation. We've got to develop the affinity for uncertainty and learn to enjoy the journey...

We naturally want everything to go according to plan, but the element of surprise infuses life with so much joy. Thank God for uncertainty and unpredictability. The alternative is monotony."

"The best way to discover what you love to do and what you're good at is to try lots of different things. You don't have to get it right, but you do have to sow your seed. You need to start somewhere."

"A dream becomes a reality one opportunity at a time."

"We are called to conform to Christ. And Christ was a nonconformist. So conforming to Christ results in nonconformity."

"Kids live in a world of limitless possibilities... But we allow the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy those childlike dreams. The key to recapturing those dreams is becoming like little children. Remember this: we serve an unlimited God with unlimited resources."

"To be like Jesus is to be consumed with passion. The word enthusiasm comes from two Greek words, en and Theos, which together mean 'in God.' The more we get into God, the more passionate we become."

I really appreciate this book because Mark tells me some things that I know but have ignored; things that would incessantly bother me if I actually let them sink in. I appreciate the reminder that our God and King is limitless, but hesitate at the part where my faith and action is required, especially when the conditions are unknown. I appreciate knowing that God uses the foolish things of this world for His glory, but I don't really want to be His fool. Continually I'm being challenged to see my life through kingdom-eyes and how to live from a kingdom-seized heart. This is not easy. At all.

But I completely agree with Him when he says that none of us sacrifice for God. We only think we do because in the comparison game of this world, we might look like we're losing and we are less, but that's only from one [wrong] perspective. We lose all to gain all. We give up to receive more abundantly. Nothing we relinquish could even begin to compare to His riches, to His love, to who He is. Nothing.

At work, I've downloaded a sticky note to my desktop that I will always see in case I get distracted and forget about the important things I should be focused on. If only I could have a million sticky notes in my brain that I could recall every morning and remind myself of such things-- that it's not important to have stuff, it's more important to give than receive; it's more important to stop for someone in need than to be on-time or complete a task; that the Kingdom of God belongs to the childlike, to those who are not bogged down by worries and cares-- people who have limitless dreams and who never cease to believe that now all things are possible; that every single person I meet is an image of Jesus and I should get to know them because I'll be getting to know more about Him by who they are.

I would live so drastically different if I could recall such things. Lord help me to know, not just for the sake of knowing, but for the sake of sharing what I know and living what I know, for the benefit of others. And for the greatness of You.

Risky Business

more words from Brennan Manning:

"When we are seized by the power of Great Affection, we are empowered with the courage to risk. The Spirit sets us free from our self-imposed limits and moves us out into uncharted waters. Our secure, well-regulated, and largely risk free lives are blown apart.

In the power of great affection, the impossible becomes possible. We are freed from the fears that lock us. We know we can't lose, because we have nothing to lose."

"It is more likely to make us feel foolish (if we are the least bit self-conscious) than to make us feel that at last we have arrived at Christian maturity...

Mature Christians are those who have failed and learned to live gracefully with their failure."

"Your failure is measured by your aspirations. Aspire not, and you cannot fail."

"The Word should force us to reassess the entire direction of our lives."

"On the last day, when we stand before the risen Christ, each one of us will be the sum of our choices."

dandelion

Walking in the fields, a dandelion is found. Simple, unadorned, yet beautiful in its design. She was not expecting to be chosen, not expecting to be seen. This is such a wide field, so much tall grass, so many other beautiful wild flowers of color and creative expression. But He saw her. And He delighted in His picking.

"Look at this!" He exclaimed, as He gently plucked her up from where she had always been. "This one... she is special. So unordinary. Yes, I made her extraordinary! No other wild flower can be so easily blown, or could grow and flourish in so many unique and different places; places of obscurity, places of barrenness. She brings wonder to the small, amused child & lets the busy, tired mother remember the hope of a wish. She calls out to the passerby and welcomes him to playfulness and innocence. Her seeds will plant many others like her. Her purpose may seem overlooked and thought to be in vain, but I made her for Myself. And I love what I have made!"

And with His loving words, He let out a breath of fresh wind, and she was scattered. She flew with the Wild Wind, laughing and free. Many of the other flowers did not understand. Some felt pity, some sadness. Some felt jealous, some were angry. And then there were some who cried for joy. They knew the beauty of such a purpose-- to be given so that others may live, to die so that others may see true life. They rejoiced with Him who was well pleased with His creation.

For all things are made beautiful in His time.

Happy World Water Day!

It is quite the cause of celebration for me to learn of people in the world saving lives and inspiring others to do the same! Charity:water had been on my list of favorites for a couple years now. Their mission is to give everyone on our planet access to clean water. This issue may not seem like a big deal to you, as it wasn't for me either, but when I read statements like...

Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of diseases and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war.

... I remember why this is something I should be involved in and educated about. Will you join me? There are many organizations you could support or simply read about and tell others. I'll give you a few to get you started.

:) Happy World Water Day!

Charity:water.org

Blood Water Mission

Tearfund

Sanitation and Water for All

suffering love.

"Power forces us to change; only love can move us to change. Power affects the behavior, love affects the heart. And nothing on earth so moves the heart as suffering love.

That is why the perfect expression of God’s love for us is the dying figure of Jesus pleading for someone to moisten his burning lips.

... The longer I looked, the more I realized that no man has ever loved me and no one ever could love me as much as He did. 'Only the one who has experienced it can know what the love of Jesus Christ is. Once you have experienced it, nothing else in the world will seem more beautiful or desirable.'"

I'm nearly halfway through Brennan Manning's book, The Signature of Jesus. It's reiterating so much of what God has been teaching me and walking me through since last year: the meaning and reality of a life of suffering. What a nice, sentimental subject, right? I'm still not sure how to explain what my heart is experiencing here. It's not a mopey, pitied, "I must suffer to be a good Christian," thing. Nor is it something to take pride in. It's more like a decision, every day, to remember the Cross and follow Him. The prayer of my heart will always be, Lord, teach me how to follow You, because I do not know how. At least not the intellectual part of me. In the simplest of terms, following Him is natural because I love Him, and we live by that which we love. Or for Whom we love. So I'm just learning His heart, finding out where He is and where He isn't, and desiring to be there, anywhere, with Him. This desire, I'm discovering, will take me to some sketchy places, some crazy & unstable people, some dangerous situations. But what else would I be doing? I mean, honestly, is there anything else of importance in this life? I want to understand and experience the faith and authenticity of discipleship that led Paul to write the words for me to live is Christ and to die is gain. I have only tasted a smidge of a life lived in such abandon, and I will tell you: it is good. He is good. Oh, taste and see...

"To be like Christ is to be a Christian. When a disciple lives his or her life wholly for God, walking hand in hand with the Jesus for whom God is everything, the limitless power of the Holy Spirit is unleashed. God breaks through, miracles occur, the world is renewed, and history is changed."

"One of the mysteries of the Gospel tradition is this strange attraction of Jesus to the unattractive, His strange desire for the undesirable, His strange love for the unlovely. The key to this mystery is, of course, the Father. Jesus does what he sees the Father doing, he loves those whom the Father loves.

The gentleness of Jesus with sinners flowed from his ability to read their hearts and to detect the sincerity and goodness there. Behind men’s grumpiest poses and most puzzling defense mechanisms, behind their arrogance and airs, behind their sneers and curses, Jesus saw little children who hadn’t been loved enough and who had ceased growing because someone had ceased believing in them.

So central is Jesus’ teaching on humble apprenticeship and serving love as the essence of discipleship, that Christ makes himself recognizable only in our brothers and sisters. “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matt 25:40

this is from Katie Davis' blog. I encourage you to follow it and allow yourself to be challenged. What she is doing makes me question a lot in my life.

“I am so old. My whole body hurts. I have suffered much,” her eyes shine with joy as she speaks, “oh, I am suffering. But whatever He wants. Whatever God wants!” And she laughs and she laughs. We sit in our circle in the dust of a slum and we share our hearts and our prayers. Jja Ja Maria, who looks to be a hundred years old and reaches no higher than my shoulders, is the last to share.

Her life, it has been hard. She is in Jinja (Uganda) because she had to flee from the war in the North that tore apart her life and her family. Her son was shot last week by a soldier on the border of Uganda and Sudan and frail, little Jja Ja had made the 13 hour bus ride in the stifling heat and watched as they had lowered her last living child into the ground. The journey had taken almost a week and when she came back she found her grandchildren sick and even though her whole body ached from travel she still took them to the clinic and continued bending over her work so that she could make enough money to put food on the table. Now she is back and we are happy to embrace her and ask about her journey and ask how we can pray for her.

“Whatever He wants," she chuckles.

I look at the joy that is spilling out of her wrinkled face and I repeat the words that she has spoken in my head and that doesn’t make sense. She is hurt and she is suffering and she is laughing about it and sparkling with beauty and radiating Joy.

That doesn’t make sense. Not to me. Not yet.

But she already knows what I am just learning. That even this, it is from Him. Even this, it is Holy ground. This thing that I label suffering, it is really Joy."

"As we allow ourselves to experience our own pain, we can know that what we feel is Christ suffering in us and redeeming us."

Is it possible that we're missing out on true life by surrounding ourselves with so many comforts? I feel the weight of that question in the deepest parts of my soul. It's hard to follow Jesus. It's hard to live a different life than what I've known, than what I've been told. There will always be a discontent and a tension inside of me because I was not made for a world so filled with pain and suffering. As Kimberly Smith wrote in Passport Through Darkness, "After all, humans weren't made to live in this hell-- we were created for paradise with the King."

For now, there's nothing I can do to escape suffering. The world is full of it. It almost seems logical to accept it, to live it, willingly and gratefully. To let go of the false hope that I could somehow avoid it, to relish in the reality of a Good God who has so much more for me than this life. I wonder and dream of what it would be like to have such a knowledge of eternity that would cause me to let go of all the pressures, expectations, and rules of this world; to be so secure in His love and purpose. To be free. Really free. That is the longing of my heart. It's a backwards thought to think that freedom comes through suffering. But isn't that the foundations of the faith that we claim? And after much suffering, will not a glorious resurrection come?

In that promise, I will enter into suffering, seeing its beauty through new eyes, feeling its agony with a new heart, understanding it's place in our world with a new mind-- the mind of Christ. I will share the burdens of others & cast it all on Him. I will not be chained with fear, yet even when it creeps in, I will steadfastly stare into His face and do it afraid. I will take courage. I will count the cost. I will never lose hope. I will not love my life so much as to shrink from death. For He is my life and my salvation.

Amen.

"Those of us who wake up longing to know more than the rote answers our culture gives us, who long to recapture that dream God first held as He formed us in His hands, will indeed risk all to live that dream, be that dream.

Here, with our hearts beating wildly, taking stock of all that is at stake, we consider the risk of loss, including life itself. Our bodies wane, weaken, and prepare to die eve as we hope against all hope. Clinging to the truth of the resurrection, we throw off our fears and jump into the fray of life holding nothing of ourselves back. Here, in the unavoidable tussle of life and death, the dance floor opens for us to place our hand in His, trust His lead, and sway in the adoring arms of our Great Lover. Our God.

As when Abraham placed Isaac on the altar, when we’re ready to risk what we hold most sacred, we step into that adventurous life, the only one that matters. There we find our purpose and feel His pleasure-- His delight in us. In that Light and life, we find Him.

Our passport through darkness."

Bloom & Die

"The growth of all living green things wonderfully represents the process of receiving and relinquishing, gaining and losing, living and dying.

The seed falls to the ground, dies as the new shoot springs up.

There must be a splitting and breaking in order for a new bud to form.

The bud "lets go" when the flower forms. The calyx lets go of the flower.

The petals must curl up and die in order for the fruit to form.

The fruit falls, splits, relinquishes the seed.

The seed falls to the ground...

The more you perceive God's purposes in your life,

the less terrible will the losses seem."

--Elizabeth Elliot--

I always find it quite terrible when something I've hoped for doesn't happen. Even at times more terrible when it does happen but happens at the wrong time, or the right time. It takes me back to analogies such as this one. Things must die in order for new things to grow. Things must die in order for great and beautiful things to bloom. And still with this truth, the pain is there. This letting go of the comfortable to make room for the unknown will most likely never get easier for me. Maybe it will-- maybe one day I'll achieve a place of such high spirituality and closeness with Christ that all earthly losses will be meaningless. (I confess that was written with slight sarcasm).

This is certain: I will continue to accept everything I experience in this life as an opportunity to trust Him more and trust my judgments less, to hold His hand tighter and follow closer.

It seemed a beautiful flower was growing, but now it seems it was only making way for the fruit. The growth process continues.

Coffee shop chats

Hmm how to intro this one... it's about friendship with God, based on a sermon by Bill Johnson, with some quotes from my newest found book Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning. It's a subject that I've been "wrestling with" I guess you could say. I know it is just a person's revelation, but you never know, there's a lot of truth in those kind of things sometimes.

Sermon notes:

Obedience is the doorway which brings us into deeper relationship with God.

It’s not slavery, but intimacy.

Example of Abraham: James 2:23, “Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness-- and he was called a friend of God.”

--What was Abraham’s reasoning (for trusting God and being willing to kill his son)? Because he knew that God will raise him up. He banked everything on the promise and word of his Lord. That’s what trust is like. That’s what true friendship is like.

Psalm 25:14, “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him, and He makes known to them His covenant.”

He will share the secrets of His heart with you!

John 15:13-16, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down His life for His friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends for all that I have heard from my father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name He will give it to you.

-- We are no longer just servants, we have the ability to know Him in the beauty and freedom of a loving relationship.

John 16:24, “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”

--How will your joy be complete? Relationship is built through prayer, but joy comes from answered prayer! When an answer doesn’t come, ask why, and determine to get the answer.

"until now you have asked nothing in My name..."

What do you want?! Get the car rolling; it’s easier to steer once it’s going somewhere.

“Son, friend, whatever you ask.. I will do it.” If the answer doesn’t come, the problem is with us. Seek Him.

Radical, abandoned obedience is important, but it is the fruit of a deep friendship with the Father. Focus on the fact that we can be friends of God.

1 Kings 8: the temple.

Vs 17, “Now it was in the heart of David my father to build a house for the name of the Lord…”

God didn’t choose a city, God chose David, and the temple was in the heart of the man He had chosen. One of the finest things of the Old Testament was actually the idea of a man, and God blessed it.

He wants us to think, dream, aspire to do something. He cares about what you’re thinking, what is in your heart, for He created us all.

What do you want to do? What are your passions, your desires for life?

Does that sound radical to you? It was really crazy for me! And possibly life-changing. In church we are often taught that we all have a specific purpose, and our job is to seek Him to find that purpose and then go do it. Now, I don't find fault with this statement in and of itself. The truth is, when we seek the Lord, pursue Him with our hearts, our time-- when all of our focus and everything hangs on His truth, who He is, and who He has said that we are, then the true passions within our hearts will start to show themselves. For me, as I've grown up over the years and realized that nothing around me and no one around me can fill what my heart desires, I began to get a glimpse of what intimacy with the Lord is like. And I began to actually hear back from Him when I would pour out my heart in prayer. It's amazing how when I am hungry for the hope, joy, peace, and love that only He can offer, He gives it to me. He loves to respond to us in our need. So when I prayed for Him to show me what He wants me to do, something weird happened. He didn't tell me. I saw no vision of my future. There was no pointed list of things He told me to accomplish. It was silent.

However... I heard about this place called YWAM. It looked like an adventure, a safe place to learn more about the God I was serving. So I went, and it exceeded anything I could have ever imagined. I was so changed and determined that I could never turn back and live differently. I saw a part of our hurting world that affected me deeply, and I knew my life would be spent traveling and helping people. And after that, I was asking again, "Lord, what should I do?" and after waiting for a couple months, I took a job at a church and started spending time with children, which have always been a joy of my heart. And I enjoyed the fellowship I had with the people I worked with and saw every week. Then one day I ran into friends from a while back who invited me to come and hear about something that is happening across the world & even in our cities-- human trafficking. From that meeting, a lot of my time was spent on learning about this atrocity and what I could possibly do to stop it. By this time, I was working on my own, cleaning houses & condos, and I felt like I had to go and do something. I knew about a YWAM school that taught about such things as human trafficking, poverty, and how we as the people of God can be involved in such situations, so... I went. No word from the Lord, just a desire in my heart to learn more and meet others who were pursuing the same things.

The point of my story is that I'm realizing God never came to me and said yes. I never audibly heard Him. I think it all came down to me being surrendered and sensitive to what His ultimate will is & what He has commanded us to do: bring the message of hope and salvation to the nations, care for the poor and the needy, heal the brokenhearted, be a friend to the friendless, etc. His Word is actually very specific if we would remove blinders of years of sermons and other people's interpretations and just read it. (This is hard for me to say, because I still have so much that holds me back, so many preconceived ideas!)

I think a lot of us as part of His Church are sitting, waiting to know our calling, when our calling can be found very practically. I completely believe that God speaks and that sometimes it is appropriate for us to wait on Him. But I also believe that things can be done in our waiting, and that often in the waiting, when we least realize it, our calling finds us. We must open our eyes as well as our hearts and be prepared to discover what He is doing all around us.

Is it possible that we actually hold our destinies in our hands? That God is above it all, but we are the ones who choose and act and therefore bring His kingdom into this world? We choose to live radically and audaciously, or we don't. We pursue the heart of our Savior, humbling ourselves at His feet, with the knowledge and conviction that He loves us and His way is best. Then we live our lives with purpose, intentional on loving others, spending ourselves for their benefit and not our own, seeking not the treasures of this world but the treasure of heaven: Christ Himself.

I believe I have an overall purpose: to love God above all, and love people as much as I love and take care of myself (even more at times!). I think I will be doing many different things in my lifetime-- there is much that I want to change, many who need to be set free, discipled, invested in, given jobs. I want to do so much. And I am well on my way to doing what I want.

He will steer; I just have to keep the car moving.

I was going to include some stuff from this book, but that is long enough for today. Next time you will hear from Brennan Manning.

Tchau!