I just started a new book, This Beautiful Mess, by Pastor Rick Mckinley (Donald Miller's pastor!). So far, it is absolutely wonderful. It's all about the kingdom of God and how it is living and moving all around us and that it is messy, but that's what makes it beautiful. I am only about 50 pages in, but it has already brought much clarity and encouragement to me.There was a sentence that struck me so hard, because it has been something I have learned, but am still struggling with and will probably always struggle with. He says, "Following Jesus isn't about us; it's about Him. I can't embrace the kingdom when my arms are full of me."Yep. I'm selfish. I want my days off. I want time to myself. I want, I want, I want.I was driving home one day after a really, really busy and intense day full of exhausting ministry. I started complaining to God. "Why do you have me here? I feel like all I do is work. I'm so tired. God, why can't I be back in Denver?" Blah blah blah...
And then the strong conviction came and brought me to tears. Very plainly I felt the Holy Spirit say to me "This isn't your life."
Now I know that sounds harsh, but it was definitely what I needed to hear. This isn't about me- never has been, never will be.
Colleene and I often talk about how hard it is to be here sometimes. But the conversation always ends in, "This is ministry. This is God's work." Gah, it's such a good reminder! There's a verse in Corinthians that tells us everything we have comes from God. Everything. And Paul makes the point that we have no authority to boast in ourselves, for without Him we would be nothing.
So that's where I am right now. Pondering what a life would be like if truly lived in and through and from Jesus. I want to know that kind of life. I trust that I will have times to rest and relax because Jesus did that himself. But a life that is so deeply rooted in Love, and not just the idea of love, but the Person of love. I want it. I want Him. All of Him. And I want to be used up so that the only thing that satisfies me is His Spirit. And I want to be desperate for Him.
"It is a historical scene that captures my heart: God in the flesh breaking into their world with healing spiritual authority and simple yet profound words, 'The kingdom of God is near,' He said. 'The kingdom of God is within you.'"
I confess that I am a Dreamer. Totally. There's so much I feel like God is stirring in my heart, all the time. And I don't think it's a bad thing. OK, so maybe some of my dreams are a little out there. Moving to Greece probably isn't the most realistic one, but I don't like to put a limit on what God has in mind for me :)
I often find myself thinking about the future. I know it's a normal thing that most people do (hopefully) but I tend to stay in that mindset A LOT. It's difficult to stay in today, to stay in this moment, right now.
So, I'm asking Him to help me.
Help me get the most out of this time that I possibly can. Help me to see the things that only He sees. Help me to treasure these relationships here.
The more I live, the more I realize that I could never go a day without Him. Hope literally keeps me alive. Hope that there's more out there for me to do, see, experience. Hope that He is always here with me.
Dreams are nothing without hope. Hope is nothing without Someone to hope in, because we know this world surely will let us down.
So I leave you with this...
"No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
A dream that you wish
Will Come True."
-Cinderella-
2 o'clock this afternoon. I was doing laundry and walked outside and heard a very strange noise coming from the canal. So I walk down to the water, and it's a dolphin!!! I love dolphins; I think they are so beautiful and smart. It was like a little present for me on my day off. I loved it! Thanks, God :)
We had our infamous Trunk or Treat last night at the church. I think a couple thousand people showed up, which is surprising because we did not advertise like usual. There is a major blessing behind that, too...
We bought about 6 FULL buggies of candy from Target on Tuesday and ended up taking all of it back on Tuesday night. Pastor Laura had contacted our local Food Bank and they had over 1,000 lbs of candy they were willing to give us for only a couple hundred dollars. WOAH. Like we always say down here, "Ain't that just like the Lord?!?"
He definitely came through for us financially. With the economy being the way it is, some people just didn't have the money to sponsor this event. But, we were trusting and knew that it was going to happen one way or another. And it did!! It was a blast, too. Not as big and grand as the years past, but I still believe that our community was blessed.
We are starting a series this Sunday in Children's Church called "Give Big". Pastor Rick, our senior pastor, wanted November/December to be months that are all about giving. So while he is challenging the adults to give willingly, cheerfully, and obediently, we will be challenging our kids to do the same. We believe that giving our time, our talents, and our testimony is just as important as the amount of money we can give. So we will be serving our community in some creative ways!
Pray for us as we equip our church family and teach them about the blessings and fulfillment that come when you place God as number 1- totally in-charge of not just your finances, but your life!
Another thing we have going on, to add to the list (ha!) is Allies. It's an afterschool Bible club that we are able to do at our Elementary, Middle, and High School campuses. Of course, our department only goes to our 2 local Elem. schools, each on a different day, every week. It's pretty much our favorite thing. We get to spend time with kids who go to different churches in our area, and we also get to minister to children who are not involved in church. It is such a great opportunity God has given us. Will you continue to lift us up in prayer- we would like to begin this club at another school in our county, but with just Pastor Colleene and I, it's too much to handle. We need volunteers!! And that there would be PEACE. We've had to get majorly organized, which we are learning to be good at, and we just want this to not be a burden on our school system. Praise God that we have amazing principals and teachers that allow it to be done!
Thanks everyone. I'll update again in the next week or so!
