"Yes, His love really did bring me here."

Oh, I've loved you from the start in every single way

and more each passing day.

You are brighter than the stars

Believe me when I say...

it's not about your scars

it's all about your heart.

--Mindy Gledhill--

Newest book: Story, by Steven James. Great find at the $5 bookstore! Steven is a storyteller and a poet. I may have found a favorite to add to my list. He starts with the story of Easter, then fills in everything previous to and beginning from that point in God's story, in our stories. I really liked this chapter about scars. I'd never thought about the detail of Jesus having the scars to show from what He had been through. Maybe it's a minor, insignificant detail in the story of salvation, but what Steven has to say about it is very interesting to me:

[ I thought this part was really funny! ] "One time I was speaking at a church in Kentucky and I mentioned that just like the disciples recognized Jesus by his scars, just like Him we'll have scars in heaven. One rather large woman looked a bit distressed and said, 'You mean we won't have perfect bodies in heaven?' I didn't really know what to say. I guess she assumed she'd look like a supermodel in heaven after spending an entire lifetime eating twinkies here on earth. I thought about mentioning something about that to her as a helpful little dietary suggestion but decided not to."

"Maybe our scars, our histories of life on this earth, are an essential part of the afterlife. If we can infer anything about the body of the risen Jesus, it seems our scars are the only thing we get to take with us into eternity... Maybe it's so that when we've been dead for ten billion years and those few moments we had back on earth seem like a dream, we'll be able to say, 'Yes, I really did live in that place of skid marks and scars. Yes, I really did believe in Him and He really did rise again. Yes, His love really did bring me here.'"

"There on His skin is the evidence of how we treat our saviors, of how we act toward God, and how He reacts to us. Scars & all, God wants to save you. Hopes and dreams and everything; mistakes and wounds and heartaches. All of you. Who you are and who you were. Twinkie-eater or granola-head. Jesus offers to save you body and soul and scars and all."

So if our scars are more like reminders instead of regrets, meant to tell of tales and testimonies from these lives of ours, I can begin to fear failure less and trust His grace more. It gives me much comfort to know that it's more about who I become in the process than whether I follow all the rules and avoid making mistakes. I actually think mistakes are the best teachers, and the scars that follow may be the best way to show me that He is great, He redeems, and He works all things together for good.

"You came back to life with fresh scars and open arms

you arrive with a constant reminder of our world

pierced and etched upon your skin.

but the deepest scars didn't come from the nails,

and because of that

the healing you offer isn't just skin deep.

you can heal me all the way down to the bone

down to the heart.

I'm ready to enter the tale,

let your tale enter me.

Emergence."

hedonistic

Our faith was born at the sight of His fondness.

And so we went.

A person defined as a "hedonist" is basically a pleasure seeker. I can only imagine how many times the church has preached against pleasure, at least in a physical sense. I bring this up because I'm re-reading through one of my favorite books/ studies: The Beloved Disciple: Following John to the Heart of Jesus, by Beth Moore.

In this chapter she confesses that she is a Christian hedonist. I find that very funny and extremely enviable. Let me explain...

Augustine wrote, "How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose!... You drove them from me, You who are the true, the sovereign Joy. You drove them from me and took their place, You who are sweeter than all pleasure."

C.S. Lewis wrote, "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Beth writes, "When we pursue Him feverishly and desire to love Him passionately, we will have an unexpected and stunning collision with joy and fulfillment."

God says to Abraham (then Abram) in Genesis 15:1, "Do not be afraid... I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward."

I could not imagine accepting this truth of God being our great love, our lasting joy, if I had not experienced it myself and continue to experience it constantly and consistently in my life. I also consistently fall short of the realization that none other can satisfy like He can. My heart's desire is to be able to confidently confess that, "Jesus is the uncontested delight of my life." I have much farther to go.

"C.S. Lewis was right. We have been too easily pleased. Somewhere along the way many of us formed a concept of Christ and settled with it. So few really grasp the invitation to great adventure. They try to reduce God to nothing but religion, then grow bored with the image they created. As a result, hearts become accidents waiting to happen, for our souls were instead created to exult and dance in holy passion. If we don't find it in the Holy One, we'll search for it amid the smoldering heaps of the unholy. I have burn scars to prove it."

How different everything would be if we could grasp that statement. Our souls were not intended to endure such heartbreak and abuse that we put them through. A question that baffles me is why do we run from such a loving, accepting God? Is it pride, ignorance, fear? I am stumped. In view of some of the brokenness that I have seen in the lives of people, it does not make sense why we would keep running from healing, from our Healer.

I love this blessing in Deuteronomy 33:12:

God's Beloved,

God's permanent residence,

encircled by God all day long

within whom God is at home.

I believe that is a blessing to be received by every single person-- for our hearts to be His home, for our identities to be found in our belovedness. We are the objects of His affection.

I want that to be a legacy of my life... not so much that people thought highly of me, but that those who lived around me felt the adoration of my Father, saw the joy of my surrender, experienced the Love of my life.

"I am convinced that God welcomes the hedonistic approach that says, 'God, You are the best thing that could ever happen to me, so happen indeed!'"

Girls

I've been so inspired by media lately! Watch this before you read.

praise from the upright is beautiful.

psalm 33:1

Watching that precious child dance reminded me of a church service in Manaus, Brazil. While the band was playing and leading us in worship [in Portuguese] two girls dressed in purple went to the front and began to dance. I watched them the whole time. I felt like God was using them as vessels to pour out His joy and delight to all of us.

And I can still remember a time at my home church, years ago, when one of the men who sang on our worship team did a solo song and his little girl danced around the stage in a pink dress. I could barely hold it together.

I love the innocence and beauty of little girls. It's tragic that so many young girls all over the world are never purely loved or delighted in. Reading in my Voice for the Voiceless book I am appalled by statistics about rape, trafficking, dowries for young brides, and murder of female babies. The book Captivating makes a very good point for the reason women are so attacked by evil. I encourage you to read it.

I remember feeling many times growing up that beauty is dangerous. People tend to do crazy and awful things to acquire something beautiful. I wouldn't say that I grew up in fear necessarily, but I did feel it many times. Instead of feeling affirmed and confident when people (especially older men) told me I was beautiful, I would shrink back and want to hide it. I believe that we as girls are meant to show the beauty of our Creator in a way that few other created things can. That should be celebrated and treasured! But as we all know, that is a rarity. And so it is with our broken world, fallen from pure perfection.

God is still working on my heart: calling me away from lies & calling me to know who He made me to be; helping me to love and appreciate myself so I can better love and appreciate others.

A friend once told me this: "you are becoming-- as God reveals Himself to you, you reveal more of yourself to others." Truth.

I often feel like I am still a little girl, longing for love yet hiding myself away when it comes. But there are times when I feel His delight, see it coming through everything and everyone around me, and I cannot explain the assurance and worth spoken to me in those times.

I love this, from Max Lucado's book, God Thinks You're Wonderful.

God is fond of you. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. If He had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

He can live anywhere in the universe... and He chose your heart. Face it, friend. He's crazy about you. As much as you want to see Him, He wants to see you more.

If you want to touch God's heart, use the name He loves to hear.

Call him Father.

for the world He loves

He wears the scars of our freedom. In His name, all our fears are swept away. He never fails.

So take heart. Let His love lead us through the night. Hold on to hope. And take courage again.

All our troubles & all our tears

God our hope

He has overcome.

All our failure & all our fear

God our love

He has overcome.

All our heartache & all our pain

God our healer

He has overcome.

All our burdens & all our shame

God our freedom

He has overcome.

God our justice. God our grace. God our refuge. God our strength. God is with us.

And He has overcome.

So take heart.

I can play this song on repeat, over and over again. To me, these words are more than a description of a Being who most believe is distant and uninvolved. To me, these words are life. They are power. They are truth. I have seen it and I continue to see it happening-- God overcoming. He's overcoming my doubts, my fears, my insecurities. He's overcoming my pride, my feelings of deservedness and undeserving, my wrong opinions and patterns of thinking.

One of my favorite verses has always been John 16:33, "but you need not fear, I have overcome this world."
I don't think in my young age of 13, when I first remember reading a bible and [somewhat] understanding what it said, I could have explained to you why I thought this verse was so epic. But I do know that it gave me an overwhelming sense of hope. Back then, I had no idea about the magnitude of the hardships of this world-- the evil, the darkness, the despair. But in my ignorance I still knew that it was alright. He said that He has overcome.

And I can still confidently believe that, in view of all the destruction, desolation, disease, and death, my God has overcome.

There is hope.

Since our Easter celebrations, I've been thinking about how Jesus understands us so well. There is no pain nor struggle that He cannot empathize with. He has felt both the depths of sorrow and the heights of joy, as have we. In all things of life, He was as one of us. And yet He is God. That mysterious thought alone brings me so much comfort & simultaneously stops my thought process all at once. It's just too great; He is just too awesome.

A hope & prayer of my heart is to never ever lose that faith. I think I will forever question, but I never want to doubt. I want to know, to really know, that He is good. In the face of everything in this world, He is good.

We see that in the Cross. May we never lose that sight. May He take our hands in His and remind us of the scars that bought our freedom and ransomed our souls.

Thank you, Jesus.

"Do you see what we've got? An unshakable Kingdom! ... for God is not an indifferent bystander... God Himself is fire."

Hebrews 12:28 & 29