I Let Go.

I would like to start this blog by saying a huge THANK YOU. Even though the people it's directed to will never read it, I just want to say it anyway. I was crying my eyes out this morning watching the documentaries about 9/11. I was so broken by all the personal losses, but at the same time so overwhelmingly blessed by the hope and restoration they proclaimed, and all the people who willingly sacrificed their lives to save others. Every time I hear stories like that I think to myself, how would I react? If I had just talked to my husband for the last time, knew he was about to crash into a building, how would I handle life after that? It amazes me how our Healer steps in and completely compensates for the despair and hopelessness in the face of disaster. He is all we need. Amen!

So, I have found this area of discontentment in my life: I want to live by myself. Well, in my mind it would be a lot easier just to get married and then get a place, whichever God would like to bring first. I am really so blessed to have a wonderful mom to live with, who will still offer to make me coffee and who always washes the dishes. But... I'm just wanting it otherwise. Discontentment is so annoying. And I am such an enabler.

Other news: The Hillsong United premier of the I-Heart Documentary We're All in this Together is showing Nov. 4th at the Cobb at 6:30! I think you have to pre-order tickets? I did just incase! You can go here http://www.ncm.com/Fathom/ConcertsAndMusic/Hillsong_Exclusive.aspx?utm_source=Hillsongdatabase_HSU&utm_medium=eblast&utm_campaign=HillsongUnited to purchase them. See you there!

My proud announcement: I have conquered the kitchen!!!!! For those of you who know me intimately, you may recall my huge intimidation of cooking. Well, those days are history. I have cooked chicken (which was my biggest fear) and now, I have made a delicious FRENCH meal, nearly all by myself. Mom was there to coach. But only a little bit ;) It was seriously good. Call me up, I might cook for you! (probably not though... other people's kitchens are a different story)

Current Reading: Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson (one chapter to go) & Extravagant Worship by Darlene Zschech (who doesn't love her?!) I am thoroughly enjoying both of these, especially Darlene's. I have such a heart for worship. I think every Christian should! But I am one of those crazy music lovers who is so awed by the abilities of worship leaders and anyone who can play an instrument. I personally want to learn how to play the piano, and am determined to make that happen. Eventually. I love watching videos of Hillsong's worship team. It's so beautiful. I'm not idolizing the people, but appreciating the unique talents, gifts, and good looks God has blessed them with. Yes, good looks. You know who I'm talking about :)

Moving on, here are some favorite quotes from Miss Darlene:

"The core of worship is when one's heart and soul and all that is within, adores and connects with the Spirit of God."

"God's love and forgiveness and power of the Cross cause me to dance into my future! What can I say? I am a woman in-love!"

"Worship is to the Lord and not unto man. Learn to seek God's face without worrying about saving yours."

"There is great power in a shout. A shout commands attention. A shout is prophetic & faith-building. It calls things that are not as though they were!"

"God is a builder, not a magician. He is a builder of life, and the finest buildings always take time."

"If we trust God's character, we can trust that our obedience will never take us to a place that we don't want to be."

"The only expression I can give Him is me."

"A personal encounter with God brings a powerful conviction on others because they can see what God has done in you. You testimony matters!!"

"Excellence means detail. Excellence means discipline. When our thoughts are excellent, our deeds will be excellent, too."

"Lay down your life-- lose it, so that others may find theirs."

"Keep that fire in your being, that attitude of 'whatever it takes'. Keep that zeal in your worship that drove you to God's face when you first believed. Go back to that place where the call of God drove you crazy, to that call of God from which you could not escape."

Phew, that's all I've read so far. Sounds good, eh?!? It really, really is! If you long to have the pure, surrendered heart of a true worshipper, you should definitely invest in it. She is one of the most talented and anointed worship leaders of our time-- she knows what she's talkin' about!

Ok, friends, I'm out for the night. Hope you all are mucho, mucho blessed. Know that you are loved and appreciated! If you live near me, come hang out for our church's 10th Birthday this weekend! Love y'all!

Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

Colossians 1:9-12

It flows.

((Sept. 5th))

"Our Lord makes a disciple His own possession. He becomes responsible for him. “Ye shall be witnesses unto Me.” The spirit that comes in is not that of doing anything for Jesus, but of being a perfect delight to Him. The secret of the missionary is-- I am His, and He is carrying out His enterprises through me.

Be entirely His."

((Sept 6th))

"A river touches places of which its source knows nothing, and Jesus says if we have received of His fullness, and however small the visible measure of our lives, out of us will flow the rivers that will bless to the uttermost parts of the earth. We have nothing to do with the outflow, 'This is the work of God that ye believe…' God rarely allows a soul to see how great a blessing he is.

A river is victoriously persistent, it overcomes all barriers. For a while it goes steadily on its course, then it comes to an obstacle and for a while it is baulked, but it soon makes a pathway round the obstacle. Or a river will drop out of sight for miles, and presently emerge again broader and grander than ever. You can see God using some lives, but into your life an obstacle has come and you do not seem to be of any use. Keep paying attention to the SOURCE, and God will either take you round the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never get your eyes on the obstacle or on the difficulty. The obstacle is a matter of indifference to the rivers which will flow steadily through you if you remember to keep right at the Source. Never allow anything to come between yourself and Jesus Christ-- no emotion, or experience-- nothing must keep you from the one great sovereign Source.

Think of all the healing and far-flung rivers nursing themselves in our souls! God has been opening up marvelous truths to our minds, and every point the has opened up is an indication of the wider power of the river He will flow through us.

If you believe in Jesus, you will find that God has nourished you in mighty torrents of blessing for others!"

Can I just say a huge, overwhelming, inspired and awe-filled AMMMEEEEENNNN!

Those are entries of My Utmost for His Highest. How does He do that? Right when you need it, the exact day that He knows you will read it... it amazes me. What splendor and wisdom and love belong to our God! I am just so filled by those words fat with promise and truth.

Let's just dream, people! I love his perspective of the fact that we'll never know how much we have blessed this earth and the people who fill it. That inspires me even more to stretch out my arms to this hurting planet. But like he says before that: it's not a spirit of doing, but a spirit of being. Delighting. Once we delight ourselves in Him, not only will we be a greater delight to people around us, but we will be the flutter in God's heart-- the twinkle in His eyes -- the laughter of His smile. When we get to that point of greatest desire and delight, we long, ache, and are desperate to pass that on to those who have nothing of Him. Delighting turns into doing, but doing cannot turn into delighting. Be entirely His. Be entirely His. Be entirely His...

Let the River flow in you, transform you, restore you, replacing the lusts of this world with the delights of heaven, reforming your ways, renewing your mind.

THEN let this magnificent River flow out of you... may it be multiplied and triplified to the uttermost parts of the earth. And may we all, in the mighty name of Jesus, be blessings to the extent that we will not be able to fathom in this world, but hopefully in the next. Every smile, every touch, every word, every breath bringing honor and glory to our God!

Dream on, dreamers. Dream on! Another world is possible... another world is here. Allow the Kingdom of Heaven to be your highest priority, and be honored that you are a worker of the fields, that YOU will see an incredible harvest!!!

love.

Chase the "Geadh-Glas"

New reading: Wild Goose Chase, by Mark Batterson

(sequel to In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day)

I cannot explain how timely this book is! Well actually, I can. If you've been keeping up with me, you know that I love my job, but I've been seeking my next task. He's been stirring my heart towards something, but has also not failed to remind me to patiently wait until He finishes this work in me. Hmph. Harder told than done.

I've been wanting to read this book for a while, but really haven't had much time to,

AND have been convicted to be more into His WORD than just books.

Which I still need to do more of. But I know that this is a divine appointment for me

in this season, as many I have read lately have been.

In the second chapter, Pastor Mark explains the situation of a man named Nehemiah.

Since I first heard his story, I have admired him. And I love how Mark compares our lives to his.

He writes, "Maybe you feel a little like Nehemiah. Your passion is Jerusalem, yet you're stuck

in Babylon... here's the best advice I can offer: be the best cupbearer you can be...

One of the greatest acts of worship is keeping a good attitude in a bad situation...

Nehemiah had an ordinary job, but he did the best he could with what he had where he was...

Nehemiah was successful long before he rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem.

I've found that if you're faithful in Babylon, God will bless you a thousand miles away."

And- "He loves leading us down the scenic route because that is where we learn our most

valuable lessons."

He also puts the act of our salvation in a way I've never heard before, and man, does it give me

a new reason to worship His goodness.

The Evidence Against Us:

"Peter's repetitive failures give us 3-dimensional pictures of God's grace.

Peter's impulsiveness led to a lot of moments of vulnerability. One of them happened just

a few hours before his denial. When the mob came to arrest Jesus, Peter pulled out the

sword and cut off the ear of a man named Malchus. Peter gets a bum rap for this,

but you've gotta give him credit. I don't see anyone else coming to Jesus' defense!

Now let me state the obvious: you don't cut off someone's ear and get away with it,

especially if that someone is the servant of the high priest. Peter was in a world

of legal trouble... We tend to ignore this subplot in the story, but it is one of the

clearest pictures of grace in the gospels. Jesus miraculously reversed the irreversible by

reattaching the man's amputated ear. But He did more than heal someone who had come

to crucify Him-- He also destroyed the evidence against Peter. Stop and think about it.

Malchus files suit against Peter, and a stenographer captures the cross-examination.

Malchus says, "Peter cut off my ear."

"Which ear?" the judge asks.

"Malchus says, "My right one."

The judge walks over to the witness stand and examines the ear. "It looks fine to me."

And the case gets thrown out of court for lack of evidence!

Through His crucifixion and resurrection Jesus destroyed the evidence against us.

But He did more than that.

Not only does our sin get paid for out of His account, but all of His righteousness gets credited

to our account.

"God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become

the righteousness of God."

It's like Jesus says, "You give me all of your sin. I'll give you all of My righteousness.

And we'll call it even." There is no greater moment and no greater feeling than

all of our guilt meeting all of God's grace.

And then, it gets even better, he talks about Paul and his trials of being shipwrecked

and snake-bit. All of his crazy missionary journeys were completely ordained by God,

even when it seemed as though nothing was going right. He uses the term "disoriented."

We are used to having orientations for the new things we experience: jobs, school, whatever.

But Jesus' often used disorientation to teach His disciples.

"He usually disorients us so He can reorient us."

It's literally speaking volumes to me, encouraging me greatly. I have felt disoriented

many times in my life (in my short 20 years so far). But He often loads me up with

revelation and wisdom and intimacy during those times, better than any other season could

ever bring. He says, "But the upside is that it causes us to seek God with a raw intensity

that cannot be manufactured any other way. Disorientation has a way of driving us to our

knees. And that is one reason why the bad things that happen to us can actually turn into

the best things that happen to us." But our response is everything. If we don't rightly

respond to our shipwrecks and rely on God, things can quickly go downhill.

That is when we let failure cage us, which is precisely what Mark is trying to steer us away from.

I am really inspired. I've been thinking, what could God possibly have for me?

The thoughts that come to my mind make me want to stay exactly where I am,

in my comforts and in my shell. Well, what's left of my shell.

I'm trying to hold on to it as much as possible! Only out of fear. Even though He has

used me countless times to prove that He can, I still hold back. As I was drifting

off to sleep the other night, I imagined myself on a stage preaching to thousands.

I'm not sure if this is normal... but I do this a lot. And that scares me. I understand that

there is such a thing as healthy fear, but I think I'm way past that! It's not that

I'm not ready for that ( in factI don't think we're ever "ready" for anything), if He

should choose to use me in that way, it just frightens me.

I've never enjoyed attention. Hate being called out, even complimented, in front of people.

Insecurity would probably be the psychological word for that, huh?

I feel like whatever this next job is, it's going to be a big one. Possibly huge.

Not that we can compare jobs of eternity like we compare jobs of this world.

I believe every single thing we do has eternal value. But for me, it will be huge,

in terms of personal growth and ministry development. Being here has been a significant

growth process for me. Oh Lord, what is around the corner...

My soul waits for you, My God.

I've come far to find you here

In this place will I draw near.

And Your Spirit soars me

to the highest heights.

I will not look back

I'll keep trusting you.

For I know You are faithful.

For I know You are faithful, My God.

From the land of the barren

we'll cry out for rain.

Fill our hearts God.

I'll keep trusting You...

SCARED.

SCARED

Tom Davis

"The utter depravity of these terrible acts, the sheer poverty and sickness, death, and sadness-- these things can weigh down your soul and render it weak and useless, or they can stir your soul to life in a way that changes you. And other people as a result. I believe this is God's way."

This book has gripped my heart in a way very similar to what the Shack did (if you've read that one, you REALLY understand). Staged in the life of a Time magazine photojournalist, and also through the perspective of a Swaziland orphan battling the AIDS crisis among many other injustices in her life, this book delivers a life-changing message. Maybe it's my missionary heart, but I sobbed through almost the entire 283 pages! And I finished it in about 3 hours. I won't write a major review, but that should clue you in on how awesome it is. Now, by awesome, I do not mean YAY! awesome. It is gut-wrenchingly intense, graphic, and terrible. But I strongly believe in choosing to take the scales off our eyes and realize what the rest of the world deals with on an every day basis. It's not peaceful. It's not happy. It's real. And thankfully, God is moving. Sometimes in nearly invisible ways. But He is at work, and we are victorious over this world!

Every time I read this kind of book, watch this kind of movie, or visit these kinds of places, there is a certain instinct that kicks in and wants to totally take control-- it is that of immense and exuberant compassion; one that might be damaging to myself, in a way, but in the moment I could care less.

I have always had a heart for Africa. What Christian hasn't? I think it is the most well-known country in need. Maybe because it is the biggest? Or is that Russia? Anyways, as I'm engulfing myself in the pages of this book, my heart is pounding and my spirit is urging, "You have to do something!" There is a great line where one of the reporters replies that we often see the big picture and focus on all the major things we would have to accomplish in order to fix this big problem, and in the process of doing that we can miss out on the small things that we can do to help. I need to write that on my wall somewhere... wise words that will protect me from hopping on the next plane to South Africa and selling everything I have. (not that its necessarily a bad thing!)

I experienced this overwelming feeling when we were in India. At every street corner there was a tattered, nappy-headed, snotty child begging you for money. One girl literally pinched me through the bars of a rickshaw to get my attention. That broke me. My team had to rely entirely on the Holy Spirit to give us discernment and wisdom in our giving, as most "poor" people often aren't really poor. It's a sad, sad world. I can remember one day we had this scavenger hunt. We separated into different teams and scattered around the city trying to complete all the tasks on our list. One was to buy shoes for someone. Well, as we were browsing in one of the markets, we found some little friends. 3 girls, if I remember correctly. All bare-footed. So we bought them the CUTEST shoes we could find in the store. We happened to pass by the same place a couple days later, saw the same girls, and not one of them were wearing their gifts. It's moments like those when you question if anything you do is making a difference; if you are being a light that pierces the ever-present darkness; if you are truly loving in all of your actions allowing God to show off through your life.

Scared also sympathizes the doubts that we all secretly hold in our minds... "How can God be here, in the midst of all this evil? How can He sit back and do nothing?" It is in those questions that we often forget what has already been done for us. The precious blood of Jesus. When you read the book you will see that even in horrible circumstances, God's promises never change. This truth is proved many times, not only in these pages, but in the many inspired pages of scripture.

It is my prayer and my greatest desire to travel this earth and teach, love, learn, change and be changed. I think there is such a special thing about missions... something about going to an unknown place, with unknown people, experiencing fear mixed with excitement (and often stomach issues caused by unknown foods). I am absolutely thrilled for my next journey, whenever that may be! And in the meantime, I have the opportunity of sowing the "small" seeds, working for the Kingdom in seemingly small ways, without the negative effects of jet lag and food that crawls! Hallelujah, I accept my task, Lord!

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing the let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

He is here...

GOD is in the waiting.

"Be still and know He is God. He is here. He is here."

I started this blog last week- time to finish! Sometimes distraction comes so easily.

I'd like to look back on the last month or two and count how often I've blogged about the subject of waiting.

I think it's been quite often :) It's because I'm still trying to wrestle out this season. I was calm and just enjoyed the ride for a little while, but now it's becoming a struggle again. Is it almost over? Am I almost there? When, God, when?!?!

It can be very frustrating. But in my discretion, conviction, and true desire to be the obedient daughter, I will not budge until He says so. I will not make a decision until it has been confirmed multiple times. And so far... nadda. But it's coming. I know it's coming.

Wait patiently upon the LORD.

I've been very encouraged by Elizabeth Elliot. In reference to the whole "God, where am I going, what am I supposed to do with my life?" subject, I have encouragement to offer.

"If we set ourselves to the pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our Heavenly Father, we'll find that happiness comes-- quietly, in unexpected ways, and as the byproduct of sacrifice."

"I don't need to know the way. I need only to trust my Guide."

Job 23:10, "He knows the way I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

Testing. Not an easy subject. But it is definitely necessary for us to not only learn and grow, but to flourish and thrive. I was reading through my Twitter today and Pastor Steven Furtick had posted something about how the only way out is through. You've gotta keep going.

He knows my way. I'm on the way to becoming good as gold! It's a weary, lonely, and painful process to be refined. Someone gave me this poem years ago, (I wish I knew where it was!) describing a virtuous woman. I remember a part about a diamond... how she started out as a piece of coal but was transformed and refined into this beautiful jewel. It's not like you can just spit-shine it. It's a process. It's a journey.

Or a pearl, for example. How much are they worth? And they come from a disgusting, slimy oyster! What a cool picture of who we are and who we are made to be. God has purposed for beautiful, meaningful, valuable things to come forth in our lives. Aka, pearls and diamonds.

I looked up the word "refine" and it means to free from impurities, to make pure and perfect.

What imperfections and impurities do I need to release? You know, we can choose to be unrefined.

It's actually becoming like a fad amongst Christians nowadays-- allowing room for impurities because we can't be TOO different from other people or they won't want anything to do with us. Where did that reasoning come from? Uhhhh maybe the pit of hell? That's why people don't want to be like us is because there isn't a major, genuine, drastically different change in our lives. Whatever "convictions" you do or don't have, just remember-- you are Jesus to people in this world.

Why do you think most people were drawn to Jesus? There was something distinctly different in Him. Something pure, radiant, and loving. We read about how before He started His ministry, He was tested and tried in the desert with satan himself. He had to be refined before He could be assigned with a ministry to change the world.

This is turning out a lot different than I had in mind. Maybe it's the Holy Spirit!

What are your dreams? Like, besides being a rockstar. What do you really want to do while you're here in this earth? How do you want to make a difference? I know I have huge dreams in my heart. They scare the poo out of me, but they are there. And I know it's because God has placed destiny and purpose inside of me. It's inside of you, too. But we must go through these times of refinement in order to get to the huge and awesome assignment that He has planned for us. If not, we won't reach the greatness that He has intended. Or worse, we will not personally be prepared and we will fall.

I encourage you to DREAM BIG no matter what, but don't forget the process in between the promise and the pay off. There is much to be done in our lives before we can be responsible for so many lives of others. Let Him refine you. And be patient in your process! (preaching to myself)

Philippians 1:6

Wisdom. Dreams, Destiny.

I have finally finished Bobbie Houston's book, I'll Have What She's Having. This woman is legit. I am so stinkin' excited to be going to Sydney next summer (speaking in faith...) and hopefully will get to meet her. I just love her heart and her passion!! So contagious. As it should be.

Here's some good stuff for you:

"When the Word is entwined in and through your life, nothing can prevail against you because nothing can prevail against the Living Word!"

"The stretching always preempts the blessing."

"Wisdom is applied knowledge that makes you skillful in living life to the fullest."

"Two-thirds of God's name is GO!"

"Read and respond to your Bible; listen and respond when the Word is brought to you. This produces faith which enables us to receive grace which then empowers us in life and ministry."

"When pastoring beautiful people don't get confused or frustrated by the challenge of human nature. The people are NOT the enemy!"

"Leadership demands that we rise above hurt and keep going. Clearly recognize and overcome challenges, and learn to deal victoriously with anything seeking to sabotage your destiny."

"Conviction will cause someone to draw on their faith and examine themselves first."

"It is impossible to be filled with God and have nothing to show for it. Your life will display wonderful qualities which you will carry into every situation, room, and conversation."

"Don't allow anything to bring division in your life."

"Bring everything into the light of Christ-- the enemy only has authority to traffic in darkness. Allow the Holy Spirit to search your heart and you'll stand strong, having authority to rule well in God's House because your own house is diligently taken care of."

"Leadership is about helping people put their lives together again... and armed with the anointing of God's Spirit, we can birth big, beautiful things beyond our wildest dreams."

"I believe the seeds of greatness are within us all. The key is in creating the correct environment for them to then surface to reality."

"RISE UP WOMAN OF GOD! Rise up, fall in love with your Creator, get over what contains you, discover your purpose, and start coloring your world with the love of God!"

She shares so much practical wisdom, mostly from what she has experienced in their ministry. I am so encouraged by other people's victories. It reminds me to share about my own more often!

I have yet to share one of my favorite quotes with you... this statement has shaped my entire life, even though I've just recently read it. The concept has been more than a conviction, it's been a calling. I am now beginning to see why..

"The mark of leadership is in the fact that your life is not your own, and you have the responsibility to 'get it right' for the sake of those watching."

That may seem like a simple sentence to you, but it preaches volumes to me! I used to actually get a little angry at that voice in my head always pushing me to do right. I didn't know the greatness that He was urging me to step into. I still don't really get it. But I don't think we ever will! I used to tense up when I would face the horrifying fact that there is no way to know what is in my future. Now, I'm very glad that I don't. I think I would be too terrified to go any further!

It is just breaking my heart to think of all the people that will never choose to tap into their God-given potential and reach their destiny. I don't understand how people can get so bogged-down with the depressions of this world that it completely blinds them to the rights and inheritance and blessings we are destined to receive as children of the Almighty God. I am so, so, so, so, SO grateful for His Spirit that gives me the faith to see into His heart. Every time I am tempted to step off this road, I am overwelmed with the truth of how it affects Him. But even more, its like I can't compromise AT ALL. There is something that has taken root and changed everything! It's wonderful!!! I cannot brag in anything of myself. It was HIM who revealed Himself to me, HIM who opened my mind to His Word, HIM who transformed my desires, and HIM who taught me that a disciplined life is a delightful life. The only thing I did was simply act on choice. I chose to love Him, and it has made all the difference.

All I Need.

I'm not even sure how I am up writing this blog right now. Kids Camp ended this morning. Due to having a very spirited and awesome team, I didn't get much sleep at all the last several days. My body is aching from being repeatedly hit in the dunking booth and slamming my bottom on the ground because the booth was apparently not made to be comfortable for people over 5 foot. On the bright side, it was an incredibly encouraging time. I am not disappointed; it was just different than last year. Did God show up? Absolutely! He did amazing things in the hearts of these kids. I think we were so scared and scattered and stressed last year that the Holy Spirit HAD to blow us away or we would have not survived. Ha!

I have a great story for you! One of our nights was the theme "Life's a journey, don't stop believin'," and we had painted a yellow brick road around the sanctuary. Colleene used it as her illustration of how God has planned a specific path for us to travel on during our life-- a path that is smooth and straight. A little girl, Kiaya, who is about 6 or 7 years old, tells Kim (her counselor) about her "Jesus sighting" that she had while we were all praying during the alter call. She told her that as Kim was praying, she saw Jesus sitting beside her in the seat, and He was smiling and so happy. Then she said that she also saw Him sitting next to me, the Yellow Team counselor, and that I am on the yellow brick road, doing exactly what I need to be doing.
Yes, God is wonderful. These kids... they see things and know things and experience things that I pray I would see, know, and experience in my walk with God at the age of 20! I am constantly being taught by them what it truly means to have faith and just let God be God. He IS real. He DOES move. All we have to do is believe and watch Him at work. (I have shivers just thinking about her words-- SO encouraging!!)

I am thankful that it's done, and I pray that the kids got so much out of it. My favorite was when we walked outside and let balloons go to represent that we are surrendering everything to Him. Our dreams, our futures, our lives. We let it go. It was sweet! And I'm always amazed at how God continually uses my life experiences to help and encourage other young girls in what they are going through. Phew, it's a good job.

This is what's been going through my mind lately:
how awesome is it to be a Christian?! I was looking around me at the wonderful people, leaders, moms and dads that God has placed in my life to challenge and build me up; how each and every one of us has something to offer to complete the work that God is doing throughout the world; how His Word is living- it changes us! How He uses so many ways to bless us and provide for us. I don't know... it's hard to explain. It's just been on my heart recently. How wonderful it really is to be called His family. I am forever awed by the simple things in life, the every day gifts and wonders of knowing Him and receiving from Him. It's too deep for me to put into words! He's great!!!!

I might have said this already... my mind is nearly gone. But the other week I just needed some good, quiet time with Him. I was walking outside by the water, and I was praying and praying that He would bring dolphins by. I just love them so much, and I felt so low that day, I just needed it, you know? Well, they never came. So I was getting a little mad at Him. I had been working hard, and all I wanted to see was a dolphin. He is God, it would not be hard to send a dolphin swimming by my house.
I went back inside really disappointed, but I enjoyed the beautiful sunset and took it for what it was worth. Well, the next day (which used to be our day off) we were working our Sno-Cone stand, and one of our friends asked if we wanted to go out on the boat. Uhh, not a hard one to answer! So a big group of us got to go out and swim and enjoy yet another beautiful sunset from the bow of a boat. And, guess what else we saw. Not just one, but at least 10 dolphins kept coming up all around us. One was probably 7 feet from the boat! And then they were jumping up out of the water. My little heart was so blessed, and so convicted. I had felt Him say to me "Keep waiting," and I thought it had been for THAT day, at THAT time. But it turned out that He had a much bigger thing awaiting me the very next day.

See what I mean? So many lessons and wonderful things for us in this life!! And though I've been exhausted, He has remained attentive and responsive to my needs and desires. Gosh, it's too much for me right now. Not enough sleep = overly emotional! I'll say good night. I hope that story, as insignifact as it may seem, will give you hope that He has something for you-- sometimes you've just gotta wait. Now I have a clearer picture of His promises... they are well worth the wait, no matter how long. He loves you and will always, always, always do what He says He will do.

Be blessed my friends, wherever you are and in whatever task He has appointed to you. Be faithful, as He is always faithful to us!
Love you!

"Love like that."

I'm reading in Eph. 5, which is probably my favorite CHAPTER in the Bible. I have to clarify that, because I have other BOOKS that are my favorites. I know that you probably needed to know that, right? Anyway... I'm in the phase again where I am crrraaavvviiinngg God's Word. I went one day this weekend without reading (and watched a really REALLY stupid movie, thanks to JoJo, Melody, and Bryce. Geez) and I felt so bad. Not really guilty, just bad. Like I needed some really good food and all I got was trash. So that brings me to tonight. I'm oddly not sleepy, considering we stayed at the church all day today getting ready for our Parent Meeting tonight. Here I am, reading Bible Gateway, and totally soaking it in to every part of me & finding myself wanting so much more.
Listen to this...

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that...
The bright light of Christ makes your way plain...Figure out what will please Christ, then DO it...Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.
Don't drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him. Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ."

I just HAD to put that whole thing here. It's too good!! Those first couple verses really get me. Keep company with God and learn to live a life of love. He doesn't love cautiously. Praise Him that His love is extravagant and flamboyant! He loves so that He can give of Himself and pour into us. Dang... love like that.
I'm always asking, begging, pleading, that He would teach me to love. I think sometimes I focus too much on "steps" and "procedures" and perfect conditions and I forget to just DO what pleases Him. Love. Just love. Love like Him.

I put that phrase on my Facebook: Figure out what will please Christ, then do it.
Sounds so simple, eh? It seems so unfortunate that we have fallen from perfection. It's like our hopes for living to please Him have been so weakened because of our flesh, our human-ness. We so often fall into the lies of our fallen nature. The Bible makes it crystal clear: Figure out what pleases Him. Then do it. There you go!

I keep listening to this song from the Phoenix Masters Commission. "If there's anything left I haven't given, anything left disguised or hidden... I can feel You pullin me far away from what used to be... tired of feelin the same old feelin, I wanna move on to what I'm dreamin...
Anything that's left to do, anything I've kept from You... I don't wanna fear when You bring change, make Yourself at home in me. You see the picture of my life. So much better in the end."

So encouraging. According to Ephesians 5, Christ's light makes our way plain. We don't have to fear when change comes, when trouble comes, when uncertainty lingers.
I am becoming more and more convinced that God really does have it all under control. No matter what. He is the Boss. I am living my life in passionate pursuit of Him, figuring out what I need to do to please Him, letting His light expose the darkness in my heart. And He promises me the "future I hope for." I can't stop believing. Gotta hold on to that feeeeelin' :)
And love like that.

Yeah, let's love like that.